Lessons From The Royal Wedding

Image by Defence Images via Flickr

I haven't got a television. This meant that I "missed" the royal wedding. I realize that for some, the allure of getting up at 4 am to watch a state event from a different country seems a bit thin at best, perhaps even verging on insane. I never claimed to be normal. My friends are just as kooky as I am which makes me feel that this breed of insanity is quite within the realm. They were: creating authentic high tea for granddaughters, setting alarm clocks for early hours and hauling their children out of bed to watch the wedding, TiVo-ing the entire thing and then watching and re-watching it with family over the next week or more, discussing all the details of the day endlessly together, wearing union jacks for the day and even getting out their own wedding dresses to celebrate. I hav
e cool friends. Cool, kooky friends.

Image by Defence Images via Flickr

All that to say, I felt not at all beyond the pale when I finally got around to YouTubing my way through the ceremony in great detail myself...(replaying the key moments perhaps) and spending the rest of the day thinking about it I have some thoughts. I know that monarchy is out-dated historically, but I really feel like there is something lovely about it anyhow. Something morale boosting, something culturally lifting, and as an onlooker, it feels a little otherworldly as well. (in a good way)

After musing on the whole concept of the royal wedding all day here are my take-aways:

• Practice makes perfect...there's no shame in practicing to remove the hiccups from jobs done in public that present an image by which you will be judged. I was impressed to hear Catherine recite so smoothly the litany of Williams many names and then later read that Diana stumbled over Charles' when it was her own turn. Not to knock Diana or the concept of human error or relaxation....I firmly believe in grace and forgiveness at these times. It is admirable to hear that Catherine and William worked so tirelessly to iron out the wrinkles. I would like to take more time to prepare when I have sticky words to pronounce publicly or an important visual I am going to present. Note to self: practice smiling gracefully. I always grin far to wide for pictures and find that I end up with photos of me with no lips, bared teeth, squinting eyes and a giant blue vein popping up on my forehead. It's the little things and a bit of conscious practice that make people appear polished and elegant. Be done with the idea that some are just naturally elegant and that you and I cannot be among that number.
• Being old fashioned is not "out." I thought the classical vows that the couple took and the timeless wedding attire were so lovely. Catherine used the "quaint" Victorian language of flowers to select a symbolic bouquet, bridal decorations and the sugar blossoms for the wedding cake. She wore a tiara that was a royal family heirloom. She continued the tradition of carrying a sprig of Queen Victoria's myrtle in her bouquet. They chose a carriage as their transport, cathedral to palace. They came across as elegant and ageless, not in the least bit twee or matronly. We needn't update every little thing to be fashionable and modern....sometimes the old ways are best.
• A little warmth and respect buys you goodwill now and freewill later. I find this one so helpful that I might even tack it up on the wall. I am generally warm and respectful but I forget that part of why you do so is so that eventually you will be in a position to be able to exert freewill and do so without offense. The Queen is a bit of a controlling woman...it is sort of her job. I'm sure she can be quite intimidating. Instead of either bowing completely to her wishes or flagrantly defying her left and right, Catherine wisely came to her for crash courses in "princessing," communicated often and regular with her new family, worked symbols of the royal family into the wedding ceremony and even had lunch with Camilla--notepad in hand, taking down the ideas and suggestions she had to offer. Once she had done all of this then when the queen sent specific orders for how she wanted the wedding to go Catherine had created enough goodwill to not raise a fuss when she sent word that she'd rather wear her hair down thank you, and that the royal couple had chosen to travel leave the cathedral in a carriage instead of a car. I need that kind of grace + fortitude. I am all warmth and then no resolve in relation to other people. She inspires me.
• Humility and regal dignity are sweet companions. I thought it was wonderful that Catherine chose to line the sides of the cathedral aisle with live maple trees in pots specifically because they symbolize humility. I also thought the direct but not performing acknowledgement the newlyweds gave to onlookers was lovely and impressive. They were elegant and regal without being showy or sneeringly proud. So often if feels like people who work on humility don't know how to be graceful and give themselves dignity and then again, those who have great dignity or personal pride don't know how to be warm and humble in relating to others. 
• Less is more. Such a cliche, green, modern idea in some ways but all too true. Catherine didn't need a tumbling orchid laden arrangement, her admittedly small bouquet and simple dress and veil were elegant and also showed that she and William had nothing to prove by appearing ostentatious. How do you "dress up" Westminster Abbey anyhow? Just as they did...with subtle, elegant touches....nothing over the top and nothing too wild. And really, some of the wedding guests with those outrageous hats? I'm sure they meant to look edgy and impressive but they just came off as over the top and very, very silly looking.
•  Don't fight technology. I am impressed by how very technologically embracing the royal family has been concerning the wedding. They have tweeted, posted Flikr photos, started a website, streamed live footage and accepted email comments and well-wishes. They have been thoroughly modern in every way and yet never cheapened themselves or the solemnity of the occasion. This bought them a lot of goodwill with regular people, gave them a lot more publicity and visibility and it also gave William the tool his mother never had....an element of control over the press. By running his own, pointed PR campaign he is avoiding reinventing the wheel. Poise + technological sophistication is a great recipe.

Image by k-ideas via Flickr

And I'm sure there are more lovely nuggets to glean from this important historical thumbtack in the timeline of our lifetimes....and maybe later I'll think of them. But for tonight, that's all I've got.

Related articles

• The Royal Wedding Snob (lapiskamay.wordpress.com)
• Royal bouquet draws abbey crowds (bbc.co.uk)
• Royal Wedding 2011: Top 8 Moments of William and Catherine's Big Day (abcnews.go.com)

Sweet Baby Nib

Sometimes, I can't believe how sweet Nib is. Heaven knows I love all my boys very dearly but there is just something so easy and uniquely sweet about him at this stage in particular.

He has learned pointing and it is his new hot trick. He points at everything, one dainty finger pinging out into space, clearly aware that it's an impressive trick. He also shakes his head no wildly now. I think he's the youngest of my children to learn to do that. Not that he understands what it means...I'm pretty sure he has no idea, honestly. But still...there he is, shaking his head wildly all the time: "No no nonono!"

He looks to see if I see him when he's about to cruise down the sofa or free-stand for a second. He loves books will come climb in my lap if I sit down to read the big boys a story and gravitates towards any storybooks he sees on the floor. He comes over to get hugs and give snuggles at all times of day, just because he suddenly thought of it. He lights up light a Christmas tree whenever I walk in the room and grins at me. He says "Dada" as clear as day and he's madly in love with my canned peaches.


Have you got a sweet someone at your house that you love at this moment in time for special small reasons? List 'em out. Why are you madly in love with them...at this specific point in history?

Vital Life Insights

In my plan to savor my own life experience and really accept age and the passing of time and wisdom and not just smooth skin and young energy...I have just made a new step forward. We, all of us, are learning things, all the time....lessons that are our own little gold nuggets that slowly compile to create wisdom. I think it's a shame that we never really consciously examine what we've learned and what we are learning and turn each nugget over in our hands, really looking at it and really feeling it between our fingers, appreciating the things we have learned through hard won experience.

I used to be a big journaler, never really consistantly the every-single-day diary scribbler, but consistant enough that I've filled several lined books with reams of accounts of "what I did today." I don't journal that way anymore. I'm glad that I did it because it got me started: I wrote, I thought, however shallowly about my life and my self. These days my journalling is more expressive and more insightful and much more useful, I use my journal to sort out my insides and plot life in ways that count and make sense.

All my classic lined page journals.

My current journals (I have two at the moment, one for writing and one for visuals) are a little out of the box. This is what journalling looks like for me right now. I'm often answering questions, making lists, making bold statements and writing down my hopes and small healing reminders to the tattered, quiet bit of me inside.

My visual journal

My written journal, in a sketchbook.

This week I decided to start making a list of my major life insights in my writing journal. We all know there are certain trite bits of wisdom (however true and meaningful) that could pepper any individual's list, but what I'm talking about instead are the things that feel vital to you right now. Personal insights: things that have to do with your own individual thinking and pondering and feeling and reading. Here are some good ways to dig them up if nothing is coming to you.

• Revisit old journal entries (if you journal) and look for recurrent themes.
• Think about the things you're talking about all the time to your spouse, your children, your best friend, your mom...vital bits of wisdom are often things we're so struck by that we talk about them over and over while digesting.
• Think about someone who bugs you a lot and ask yourself what they are doing that you would never do, write that down and look at it. Is there some life insight there that you can gather up?
• Look around you at your bookshelves and remember, as you spot particular books, important things you learned from them.
• Think about a painful life experience you've had. Are there any life lessons you can say you learned through it?
• What did you trip over lately and then you say to yourself "I sure thought I learned that a long time ago!"
• What do you consider to be the most important things your parents and your spiritual community have taught you?

So....there's some prompts to get you going. I'd love to hear what you're all learning at the moment, feel free to share in the comments.

Here's what's on my list so far:

1. Christianity, and maybe all of life is about LOVE...and nothing more.
2. We are all failures who are valuable.
3. All personal connections/relationships in life are good and of value.
4. I need respect.
5. Morning headstarts are the key to sanity.
6. Kindness earns you love, respect comes via achievement.
7. All emotions are valid and need to be looked in the eye and accepted, even the big scary ones.
8. Beauty is important for my vibrant health.
9. Junk food addiction is passive suicide.
10. Generosity is very important.
11. Repetition=Skill
12. Anger, unaddressed becomes bitterness.

 What has life taught you through experience? Dish it out!

This Was The Summer of.....

Just thinking a little tonight about the cool fall weather we've been having and how official the end of summer feels suddenly. It was a good summer and it seems healthy to process it out now that its about to become a file in the memory bank. How would I label the last few months if I had to define what made this summer unique, what would that look like.

How about this:

It was the summer of.......

• our big house purchase
• the epic cousin visit
• nightly ice cream in little ramekins
• much painting
• the family carpool
• the iPhone
• learning to sumersault
• the big hail storm
• Frog and Toad
• Mason Jennings and Michael Franti
• my last year in the twenties
• our third son
• long swims
• the perfect bruschetta
• my favorite flip flops
• truck-stop pancakes
• Daddy's ciabatta
• iced coffee
• long stories
• silly words
• my new bloghost
• the great, hot July
• old suits
• the fair's return
• neighbors
• Grandpa's riding mower

Lots of wonderful memories in all those little labels and a heck of a lot of poetry too, without meaning it at all. They actually would all make great poem titles. I keep meaning to write more and always struggle with titles. Huh. Kind of inspiring. Good old lists.

Kid Cutenesses

Today a little random kid quote sharing:

• The other day at lunch, (I had served carrot slices) Ru was nibbling away at his carrots and then suddenly he said..."Mommy! Look! Lily pads!" And he held up a tooth sculpted slice triumphantly. Cute, cute man. 

• On a recent Tuesday I propped an automatically locking side door of our church open with a rock so I could duck out and in again with kids. I stuck the rock in and then Dee knelt down and removed it. I put the rock back and then he took it out again and finally I said, "Dee! Leave it there! I need it to keep the door open!"....and he looked up at me and frowned and said "Mommy! That rock says ouch!" And I collapsed into giggles.

• Ru has a cousin named Nycteris (pronounced NEK-tur-iss) which you need to know for background info. He was zooming around one day, buzzing and said "Look Mommy! I'm a bee! I fly around and I find flowers and I drink from them when I'm hungry. I drink that...that...what's it called? Nycteris?" Tee hee...Nycteris' mommy liked that story. 

He's Two Months Old!

I do this all the time with a receiving blanket....wrap it around like a scarf to hold the pacifier in. A laughs and says that when he's older Nib will manifest a curious affection for neckerchiefs and not know why.

Still a little froggy, and getting pretty chubby.

He has a little, flat, pink strawberry birthmark on his back. Kind of looks like someone kissed him with lipstick on. Sidenote: WHILE I was taking this picture...he rolled over for the first time.

He has a freckle on the bottom of his left pinkie toe! So cute! I just noticed yesterday.

Scribble Shirts

Today, I had a little help in the form of a fabulous mother's-helper from church who brought her freckled brightness to our home and played endless games with two bouncing little boys so that I could multiply my hours and get astounding amounts done. There is fresh clean laundry...there are matched socks...there is even warm banana bread...and there were even naps for all three of my sons!

Muh!!!! Is she cute or what?

Heavens!

With all this fabulous bounty of energy and productivity I thought it was a good time to squeeze a little sewing project into our lives. Its been about forever and a day since I had a needle in cloth and I miss it. In our new house, I'm hoping to set up the sunroom to be a delicious Carlie Oasis where I can lay out patterns and cut them, water ridiculous amounts of plants, set up my easel and pose subjects for blog photography. Plan to come visit and check it out sometime...but yeah, I digress.

Anyhow! I decided to launch into a sewing project I'd been toying with a formulating slowly in my mind for a while and suddenly, once I'd decided I was sewing something, the idea gelled completely and somewhat instantly and there I was with a plan!

See, Dee has too few t-shirts for wearing in this hot weather (like four? which all end up in the hamper far, far too quickly) and he has too many of these plain white undershirts...

...enter semi-obvious "Plan"....make some of these undershirts into legitimate shirts via decoration of some variety.

I pulled out one of my fabric scrap bags and let Dee choose his favorite (bright red, what else!), cut it into squares and handed him an ink pen. He drew the scribbles of his choice and then for fun I did one and lent the pen to Ru to do a square of his own to decorate a plain tee that he had in his bottom drawer. Why leave anyone out?!?

Then, I took their pen marks and embroidered on top of them (thus to make them show up and make them more decoratively permanent. For Ru's more representational art I included a little title (Balloons with a Seatbelt, for those who wonder!) and also embroidered the date (an oversight I mean to correct on Dee's) and then I zig-zag appliqued them to the shirts!

Voila! Instant t-shirts, instant sewing project and instant artistic coolness in our ultra-productive day!  

Yay sewing!!! 

Ru-minating

Since we covered his little brother yesterday, (and it has been requested) it only seems logical to follow with Ru's latest deep loves so that we cover the subject thoroughly and make sure we've got everyone all analyzed and duly recorded for posterity.

Ru Likes:

• Water...the boy can drink it by the gallon...at every meal, and every snack and pretty frequently between eating sessions. He always asks me if I have the water bottle when we're getting in the car, even a ten minute jaunt down to church isn't safe from "the question."
• Books of endless variety. He has an insatiable appetite for "story" and spends hours every day thumbing through books cross-legged on the floor by the bookcase. I am a very happy mommy.
• Sweets. He's our sweet tooth...just like his daddy. Chocolate? YES! Cake? YES! Pie? YES! Ice-cream? Oh YES! He is after all the same little boy who learned the word "doughnut" before he supposed to even be talking according to the official time lines.
• Skateboarding. I honestly wasn't sure if his little affection for the sport would last beyond the novel purchase of his board but I needn't have worried. He skateboards every single day. It rivals reading. And frankly, for a four-year-old, he's pretty darn good!
• Hot Dogs. Did I mention that he's not terribly health conscious?
• Parks. He loves parks for one of the same reasons I drag my heels about getting up the gumption to go to them. All the other little kids. He loves all the play equipment too and the change to be outside and the novelty of going somewhere different but, when it comes right down to it...its all about socializing. He loves people.
• Showers. One of the only things that will get him out of the pool or out of bed in the morning with any sort of cheery speed is the promise of his own shower.
• (speaking of which...) Swimming! A bought him a mask and flippers for his birthday and at the tail end of last summer he learned how to go underwater smoothly and that was it...he was off. He swims until his lips are purple and he's rattling like a set of castanets every time we swim.
• "Babysitting" He loves it when I let him "watch" the baby while I cook dinner or rotate the laundry or answer the door. Nothing like a little responsibility to make your chest swell.
• Cooking. He loves to cook, bake, cut things up, or even just stand there and stir something I do the rest. Get that boy in an apron and he is very happy which makes his Mama happy too!
• Dogs. He still loves dogs just as much as he did when he was a tiny tot. This boy is destined to have his own romping, sweet-hearted little mutt to play with someday. House first, kids second...dog third. Its on the list.
• This song. I have no idea why but, he's wildly, madly attached to it. I'm not sure where in the world he heard it first or how he got the affection all cemented in his little brain but, somehow it happened. It goes on all of our mixed cd's now and he has memorized Ray Charles little vocal tricks and habits.
• Ben P_______. Speaking of illogical love.... Ben is one of A's coworkers and Ru overheard his name being mentioned in end-of-the-day discussion at the dinner table and decided he thought Ben (of whom he knew nothing and whom he had never met) was wonderful. His name became a chant around the house that Ru worked into any number of playtime pretends and then when A decided to invite Ben and his wife over for dinner the obsession reached a fever pitch. Meeting the man in the flesh did nothing to cool Ru's ardor (thankfully Ben is a charming, funny, kid-loving kind of chap) and he still asks A almost daily about if Ben saw such-and-such or knows about such-and-such or "Could you tell Ben....."