Spotlight on Dee!

Time to slow down for a minute, in the middle of all the baseball and spring holidays and gorgeous weather and garden days and just look at this second son of mine. Its all too easy to get revving right up like crazy and just survive parenthood. (we all do it, its necessary) Every once in a while we need to take little ordained appointments with ourselves to notice our lives. This is my "Notice Dee" pause button session. Time to take a deep breath and be present with who he is.

Suddenly, I feel like this boy is stretching out and getting all long-legged. I can tell his face is changing too and he's relaxing into his big boy role now. Its cool to see him learning to deal more amiably with pressure and anxiety and figure out how to confidently set boundaries for himself and make choices that can allow him to feel emotionally safe. For instance, he still occasionally has migraine type headaches from junk food but he now refuses proffered foods that he knows will make him feel like crap or limits how much he eats and voluntarily puts the rest away for later or just pitches it. Its great to learn that kind of confidence. So much else emerging for him right now too...

Dee Loves

1. Shadow play. This is one of his latest obsessions....the high bleachers at baseball practices are one of his favorite stages for shadow casting. His favorite thing to do is to make his own shadow into things just but changing his body position or holding things that can change the shape of the shadow he throws. He's pretty brilliant at it. He can make himself look like a weight lifter, a roman column and Darth Vader using nothing but a spare sweatshirt and his own body.

2. Scootering in the backyard. We have a pair of little Razor scooters for the boys to share and Dee loves to ride one or BOTH of them. He works on tricks a lot lately which kind of new for him. Usually Ru or Nib are hot dogging all over. Its a mind game for him though, he is less of the crash and burn type and more about clever engineering mixed with whimiscal jokes. My favorite at the moment is when he rides two scooters at once!

3. Wearing his pajama top in the daytime. He thinks its a very clever joke on his Mommy and the height of efficiency to go chance just his pajama pants when told to get dressed in the morning. Its amazing what a mother won't notice when her boy shows up to the table dressed in jeans and tennis shoes, with his teeth all brushed and his bed made. Keep your eyes open...I bet you catch him doing it.

4.What-If questions. He loves to ask me which kind of imaginary vehicle would go faster, what would happen if a volcano blew up on the moon and what I think would be the hardest thing to get in through a keyhole. Lots of these kinds of questions while we are driving places in the car. Love hearing that little mind a whirling.

5. Braiding. He asked me one day how I braid my hair and so I showed him on three strands of grass. Now its a frequent activity....sometimes he braids my hair and sometimes he braids other things: ribbons, plant stems, cords or even seaweed.

6. Pokemon. He and Ru play Pokemon pretend games and battles almost perpetually around the house and he is the master at sound effects, always making all the sounds for each character in an astounding variety of sound registers and voices. He is also the walking encyclopedia of Pokemon factoids. Ru always consults him to answer questions like "What color is Digalit?" "Tell me one the strongest attacks that Slo-King has?" He has an incredible memory for a the data and is very pleased to be consulted like a kind of personal reference librarian.

Dee Loathes

1. Doing Things Without Mastery. He has the hardest time being an early learner at any subject and really feels frustrated and easily like he is being made a fool of, simply because he isn't demonstrating high skill at any given task. He prefers to say he "doesn't know how" so that he can fly under the radar while he practices, only admitting that he can when he feels really confident and smooth. This is tricky in school.

2.Taking a bath. Never much for bathing, he still hates it. He doesn't scream through bathtime like he did when he was a baby but he sure does grumble and gripe about the suggestion that he take one. Once in the tub he loathes the soap getting in his eyes and the being chilly when you come out of the bath, having water in his ears and countless other little physical irritations and inconveniences about the whole process. So many reasons to never get clean.

3. Mushrooms. I don't know where he gets it. Mushrooms are one of God's best inventions, if you ask me...but my boy isn't of the same opinion. Even if I mince them and mix them into a mixture and cook them, he'll often discover they are there and make sure I know that he doesn't approve.

4. Math homework. I don't know if its the fact that A (who teaches math at our house) keeps a strict progress schedule and makes it clear when his students are "behind" and insists that they get no weekends off in such a status, or if its just the subject matter itself that get Dee's goat. Whatever it is, almost nothing gets under his skin and makes him melt down more spectacularly. Its very tough for me because I see so much of myself in him. I have a hard time listening and watching and remember, "This is NOT my emergency, its his." because I was so frustrated by math for so much of my young learning years. Weird how empathy can be a stumbling block sometimes.

5. Being ordered along on hikes. Dee hates most forms of being ordered around, he's the independent sorts (fits right in at our house...we are a house of clashingly independent thinkers and strong wills) and he doesn't hate hikes themselves or the outdoors which is one of his favorite retreats and play spaces. But he really does hate being told that he'll be going hiking with the family at such and such a time in so and so many minutes though. "Go get your shoes on, we're going for a walk soon and yes, you have to come." is pretty much always certain to put him in a bad mood. No choices, forced forward walking, ordered time in nature with a strict schedule....all his buttons.

6. Being asked about his eye. Remember this post?  This doesn't embarrass or infuriate him like it used to but does annoy him. He gets asked all the time if he's okay and "What happened to his eye??" and told that his eye looks funny and it gets old. Its hard for a kid who lives with some little visual difference to understand why its so broken-record-fascinating to everyone around him. He feels like, "Big deal! My eye! Who cares! I don't wanna explain again." If you're a new California friend who wonders why his eyes looks different, ask me for the story on the side, out of ear shot.

Pom Today

Today I am writing about my smallest son, Pom. He looks like he's a baby but he's just short. We freak people out on the playground EVERY SINGLE TIME when he goes down the slide alone. He's 22 lbs and nobody but nobody expects him to actually be two years old, talking up a storm and jumping off things, running at full speed and trying hard to figure out the world. So much fun to watch him emerge.

Pom Likes...

1.Elephants: Which he confidently pronounces "el-fa-dent." Not sure why....maybe purely because they have a euphonious name. We bring elephant books home from the library every week.
2.Pretend Conversation With Stuffed Animals: He loves to have me play ventriloquist and make his animals all talk to him. Its his favorite kind of personal therapy when he's miffed and won't tell us what's wrong. He'll tell his stuffed turtle....no problem. He sleeps with about four stuffed animals every night and has recently become attached to a backpack that has a stuffed animal caterpillar head
3.Reading Storybooks Together: He follows us around the house asking for story time, many mornings, since he's an early riser, he'll run in to our bedroom with a book and manage to squeeze a quick one in with Daddy before dressing time. He loves Winnie-the-Pooh, Llama Llama Red Pajama and this horrible, chintzy action figure story for early readers that features five superheros portrayed in chubby cheeked kiddie form. Classic right? Isn't that the one they always adore? Which brings me to....
4.Superman: Which is his favorite superhero and then what he ends up reverting to and calling ALL superheros. Its even better because he pronounces his name, "Super-nan,"
5.Aunt Lockbox: She's his favorite, his best pal and his most admired lady. Sometimes only she can kiss pinched fingers right, read his favorite story or put him down for a nap. He is always thrilled when she comes home from work and usually runs to her to hug her knees while yelling her name happily.
6.Butter: You have to keep a tight reign on the butter dish when he's around...he'll literally take a spoon to it if you turn your back. If that freaks you out then take Julia Child's advice: "If you are afraid of butter, use cream." Pom would approve. He also adores cream.
7.Music and Singing: His most favorite at the moment is to have me sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to him....randomly, whenever he thinks of it. He also grooves down to music wherever it shows up: the grocery store, church, electronic toys, advertisements.
8.Saying, "Yes Sir!" To People: He says it all the time....to women, kids, men...whomever...sometimes inserting it into conversation, as in: "I put the books into the box, yes sir, and they are in there waiting to be founded." He also uses it as a super enthusiastic way to say yes though. Cute man.
9.Nose Rubbing Kisses: He loves them and sometimes will grab my face with his two hands and physically capture my attention so that we can nose rub happily. Its his favorite.
10. Having His Picture Taken: We try to take a walk once a day and he loves to pose at periodic points and refuse to progress unless I take his picture. So funny.

Pom Hates....

1.Having His Hair Washed: Screams himself silly, no matter how I do it. No winning. He's been studying under Dee.
2.Wearing Shoes In The Car: All shoes and socks get taken off immediately, even if you're in the car for five minutes. He's old school about his foot wear. Nothing, bare feet always. Wonder if cold weather will help him stop doing this so quickly.
3.Going Inside: He's an outdoor kind of guy and loves to go out early and stay out as long as he can...whatever the weather. I hate that he knows how to open the front door now but I love that out is where he wants to be.
4. Having His Honey Mixed Into His Yogurt: You must never stir. It has to lay in a golden pool on the top of the bowl....he usually does eat all the plain yogurt on the bottom so I'm fine with it. We all have our quirks.
5.Dogs Jumping On Him: I mean, nobody really loves that...tackling is not actually a good form of greeting. Pom, however, really flips out. He'll practically hyperventilate. Elephants he's into but dogs make him really nervous, although they're growing on him.
6.The Tiny Nubbin Tail On Sausages: He screams and yells and bangs his plate and refuses to even sit down in his chair properly unless its carefully trimmed off with a knife....AND removed from his plate. At first I couldn't figure out what in the world was wrong and he didn't know the name for the offending detail...heck! I don't know the name either. Sausage tail is not an official term.
7. Fireworks, Car Alarms, Smoke Detectors And Other Sudden Loud Noises: He climbs up our faces and wants to sit on our left ears all night if somebody sets off fireworks in the neighborhood, there is a thunderstorm or a local car alarm goes off. I set our car alarm off in the driveway by accident the other day and it was mayhem while I tried to remember how, how, how in the world it is turned off. That was a crazy 20 minutes!
8.Babysitters: Not specific babysitters, just the idea of them....he'll always scream and cry and kick things and tell me angrily, "I cairy!" (which means that he's scared) when the sitter walks up the front steps. Same goes for the church nursery, no matter who is staffing it. Good thing he calms down in a fast five minutes after I leave.
9.Daddy Going To California: He cries more than anyone else at the airport at the start of every California Week, when my husband travels for business and he asks sadly about him during the day quite a lot. When we Skype at bedtime he often bursts into tears when he sees his Daddy's face on the screen.
10. Sitting In His Baby Car Seat: He's dying, dying to be in a booster seat in the car. Its killing him to be buckled up so much more heavily than all his brothers. Sometimes we can appease him if we pull a nearby adult seat belt across the front of his car seat to help him fantasize that he's buckled with it like all of us. Life is unfair. Dream on, kid.

 Its good to pay attention to the details. The little things that emerge. The clues we give each other about what makes us happy and scared and angry. There's no telling what makes everyone tick without tuning in...we are all of us different and charming and curious. Trying to work on loving the exercise of parenting as it teaches me that all of us in this world want to be noticed and require nurturing. Maybe soon I will do a post on my most recent loves and hates....I want to grow and change as much as my children.

Cartoon Man

My graphic art obsessed child struck again.

Ru is deep in a stage of writing his own little graphic novel scenes. He's left them scattered all over the house, mostly composed from the giant book of Asterix and Obelix stickers I gave him a couple of months ago. So fun to find them sifting around the desk, the kitchen counter and the playroom tabletop.
They are even starting to appear taped to the walls in hidden corners. Today I promised to take him to Kinko's to laminate one for each person in the family to use as placemats. (His dream!)
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One Less Shirt To Wash

You know, there are whole workbooks you can buy these days on developing "scissor skills" for your preschooler to be sure their snipping will be up to social standards. I think we have this particular skill covered in our preschool here at Chez Armstrong as Nib so easily demonstrated here.

Curved lines? No problem. He's got it down. Two years old and he's a crack shot with a pair of snips and Mommy has less laundry too! Forget those chi-chi workbooks. Who needs 'em?

Dee Wonders

Dee asks me most wonderful questions right now. I write them down in my phone when I think of it. And sometimes I re-read the list to make myself smile, to look up the answers later for him when I have a moment and to remind myself to wonder about all the little assumed mysteries in the world. We are so busy sometimes that we adults (and increasingly even our children) don't allow ourselves  to stand agape at the puzzling tiny thoughts and the amazing ideas we encounter all the time.

Here are some of his best zingers, be inspired and listen for your own curious little thoughts.

Dee's Finest Questions

What does a baby's skull look like?
Why do raccoons wash things?
Could we go see people boxing?
How do ice cream trucks fill up?
How hot are fireworks?
What's the highest a person can count to?
What does a cuckoo bird look like?
And when do they usually say cuckoo?
How can Siri be in a phone?
What is orange pulp?
Why don't we hire some day-laborors?
What is snail slime?
What is inside a camera that goes click?

Upright

New this week: Pom is an upright sort of a person! He can sit up for a short period of time and he's sturdy enough to be slung on a hip while standing at the window or stirring dinner. This is a good development...he's getting really heavy! He's also a grab-machine. This afternoon while I was trying to eat lunch and stopped to pour the two year old some water, Pom took the opportunity to grab my fork off my plate and throw it across the table excitedly. Love watching him discover the world. He's high on crinkling paper munching, curtain waving and slobbery kiss-giving right at the moment. Soaking it all in....Happy Weekend Y'all!

3 Months of Cute

Welcome to a clean, new week folks. Its Monday. We have both feet on the ground. I am finally caught up on dishes, everyone's had baths but the baby and there's a pork roast waiting to go in the oven because it got all autumnal and cool overnight. So beautiful! We broke out the hoodies (Pom has the cutest one imaginable) and bought a turkey for practice feasting.

Pom is the sweetest baby ever...ever, ever in the history of babies. Nib was pretty easy going but I think Pom has even topped him. This is no brilliant success of me as genius mommy. I had one colicky screamer, and one overly attention hungry baby and then two easy ones in a row. Luck happens in every house. But this one, he's so sweet and social and sunny. He's very undemanding for the most part, he only really screams hard when he's hurting. He self soothes, he grins at strangers and will go to sleep anywhere.

He's just started giggling and he has the best, watery chuckle on the planet. So wet and ripply and addictive. I find myself alone with him on our bed at the end of pretty much every day trying to make him laugh, over and over...no matter how tired I am because it makes me so happy.

He rolled  front to back one time two nights ago and was very startled and put out to find himself face down in the blanket. He's always trying to do it again now, waving a chubby thigh in the direction which he intends. He has the chubbiest thighs. Incredibly cute.

He has also just started wrapping a tiny arm around my neck when I put him up to my shoulder to carry around while I set the table or lay out clothes for the day. So sweet to feel his little fist grasping, grasping, grasping at the curls on the nape of my neck.

My sister Doubleddog with Pom

Pom still smells of milk and sleeps half the day away and has no real hair. Am loving him and so pleased to have had him in my arms for three whole months. Am so incredibly smitten by this wee blue eyed person. Glad he chose me for his mommy.

A Floral Execution

Too much Alice In Wonderland? A did just read it to the boys. This afternoon it was "Off with their heads!" for a whole flock of my sweetest and most unsuspecting daffodils.

That entire left-hand side of the front walk got scalped.

The guilty party. At least he was sorry when caught.

And the consolation prize is fists full of sweet daffodils on the table.

Spring, Full-On!

Here I am, back at the beginning of a new week again. We're having real spring here, we're deep the midst of a forsythia explosion, and the daffodils are working to best them in sunny glow. Its a good time of year. Little bouquets come in with me from every single gardening session, my own or gifts from the boys, at least one cluster from our own yard on the table at a time, usually two or three.

Violets from our lawn. Two different colors. :)

We had a great time celebrating Ru's birthday and Easter although it did take a little psychological trimming on my part to pull it all off without any meltdowns. We had an Easter hunt instead of a hunt and filled baskets waiting on the breakfast table. I cut the candy level way down and gave the boys some mini-Lego sets, seed packets and some energy bars to fill out their loot collection.

Happy birthday big man!

I bought myself a new dress but just dressed the boys and A in dress clothes they already had, no mass wrangling into new, stiff ties and matching dress shirts. Easter meal was modestified a bit too, a special lamb roast but otherwise it was simple veggie dishes and easy no prep appetizer type nibbley bits: a small smoked trout, some fresh berries, a blue cheese, some nuts...etc. Special but low fuss was my goal. For Ru's birthday we mostly spent a day together as a family in small celebration and then included friends with another fuss-free event...a nature scavenger hunt at a local park with celebratory glasses of lemonade together afterwards. Less is often more. (How many times do I need to tell myself this in order to actually absorb it?)

Family shot on Easter morning.

Belly-twin shot with a great friend who is due a week or two after me. She is having a girl that she plans to name Ulla...I am having a surprise but if we have a girl, Una is tops on our list. That'll get confusing, eh?

Am feeling the itch and thinking seriously about making this week be my spring cleaning week. I've talked before about The Seasonal Scrub from Brocante Home which is my favorite way to tackle the house with zest and vim. I just printed off her cleaning list and am thinking about opening all the windows and doors next. Its a new week, its a new season and the holiday is behind me...time to nest!

Six Times Around

He's having a great day and he's been around the sun six whole times now! Today Ru turns six years old. We're celebrating some today (lunch at the local cafe, cake and special dinner at home and maybe, maybe a short romp at The Children's Museum this afternoon) and then a little more on Saturday after Daddy A has had a chance to get out and do a little top secret shopping for the man-of-the-hour.

Am so pleased to have shared a little over half a decade with this spunky boy. He's all buzz and high octane, has taught me a lot about myself and about children and been the source of loads of wonderful memories already. I cannot wait for another year of them. Am reminding myself of all the little ways I'm thankful for this boy with the twinkly eyes and the dimple and trying to keep things cheery for him in the midst of this really busy week. BUT...that said, I can't stay long....its nap-time which means it is time for all good birthday fairies to get busy with balloon arranging and cake decorating and burger prepping for all manner of party goodness which will go down tonight!

The Way His Hair Curls

 

I love the way Ru's hair curls in the back on a slightly moist morning when I've let it go just a while extra between cuts. Happy, swirly effects of humidity returning.  He got it from me. When we have a misty rain and I can't help gardening in it, I come in with ringlets around my face...my favorite.

A Scepter From The Marsh

I think this is a variation on King of the Mountain done with phragmites in spring instead of snow piles in winter.

Nothing quite as fulfilling as plucking yourself the world's tallest stalk of grass and marching around the yard with it. Love the big, fat grin on my middle boy's face from earlier today. Such great triumph over a "little thing."

 

Ru, Here and Now

 Time to stop for a minute and think about this oldest boy of mine. What is he made of at the moment? Snips and snails and puppy dog tails undoubtedly but there are always a few unique ingredients if I take the time to pause and notice. Here's the rundown:

Ru Loves:

• Dogs and calves. Dogs have always been his heart animal (and interestingly his Chinese birth year animal too) but lately he's been open mouthed and willingly slobbered on for any calf he sees in addition to all canines that happen by. I think the calf attraction comes from reading a lot of Farmer Boy and hearing so much about Almonzo's yearing to have a team of calves of his own to train. 
• Stories of all kinds. I have yet to outlast his attention span...EVER, while reading to him from books. He frequently and eagerly requests rote, oral storytelling too and never wants them to stop. He will sit with books for hours on end, flipping through them and imagining the plots and we have several multi-cd books on disc that he listens and listens and listens too....every naptime, every nighttime, and most mornings if we end up in the car. Mommy eventually had to plea bargain for afternoons to be Mommy audio material time when driving. Pretty cool problem. The boy has ink in his veins. I like it.
• Graphic novels. His particular passions involve the trio of Tin-Tin, Asterix and Obelix and Calvin and Hobbes although he'll dip into Star Wars, Zita the Space-girl or Garfield on a whim too. He heads right for the comic book shelf in the library and spends all his time there every week.
• Playing outdoors. He is out every single day, no matter what the weather. He does all kinds of stuff...messing around with sticks, digging, lying on the lawn watching the sky, climbing the apple tree...etc. He loves to be out and he has no trouble making up his own fun. Makes a mama proud. :)
• Avocados w/ lime juice and salt. He and I are the house avocado lovers. Anytime he sees me preparing the slice one open he plea bargains for half of it. I don't mind sharing though since it makes me so happy to have him share my love the divine "alligator pear." We sometimes snuggle up together and split one for a snack, half a lime for each of us and a few cranks of the sea salt grinder and then we eat them with matching demitasse spoons, right out of the shells. Mmmmm.....
• Video game arcades. A has been taking the boys out for a special one-on-one Daddy Outing in rotation and Ru almost always wants to go to the huge video arcade a few towns over. He calls it his "most secret, favoritist place" and claims to be withholding it's identity and location from the rest of the family, lest we all discover the deep happiness to be found there. He pronounces it "art cave" which makes me want to giggle every time.
• Lemonade. Whenever he's allowed a special drink for a treat at the store or a restaurant he always asks for lemonade. It used to always be orange juice but I think the tide may be turning. I foresee a sidewalk stand in our future one of these days.
• The t.v. show How It's Made. He's obsessed! I'd never heard of this show until we accidentally bumped into it on Netflix on a whim but boy do I hear about it now. I hear it is a cable show from The Science Channel, basically the premise is that they take you into factories or wherever an object originates from and show you the nuts and bolts of how it is created. We've seen: snowboards, guitars, pencils, Cheerios, paintballs, kayaks and lots more, and I don't think this trend is going to be over anytime too soon. We've still got several episodes left. Love to watch his curiosity and hear him re-telling all the details to A over the dinner table later that night.
• Scaring people. He has discovered the fabulous comic effect and power-tinged elements of the startle reflex. He's far too good at scaring his little brothers who are frankly a big jittery around him now and far too bad at scaring his father and I who always give him bland reactions. This interest hits the nexus of two of his favorite topics at the moment: joking and power. Interesting to watch him struggle to understand and agreeably execute the old "Boo!" trick.
• Opening the car doors. A has started letting Ru have the car keys to go open up the doors on mornings when we're all trying to rush out of the house together. He feels like a million bucks to have his daddy's big jangly key chain and the responsibility of herding his two younger brothers into their seats.

 Ru Hates:

• Soup. Once in a fit of sobbing angst he told me that I was terribly mean because I always pick on him by doing horrible things like always making soup for dinner. Poor A (a real soup lover) had a good laugh over that one, I haven't actually quit making soup all together but knowing that it will be completely boycotted by the younger set has taken my output down a bit. Ru won't touch the stuff beyond the obligatory mouthful which goes down with much shuddering, no matter the ingredients. 
• Tension in movies. He calls it "scary movies" but the term misleads most people...we're not talking bad guys with guns and masks...he just means scenes of any tension or danger or stress or worry or fear. He can't handle it. It's fine in books, but these kinds of feelings in movies are too potent for him. I thought this was just a little kid thing until Dee grew past him in his tolerance level. We'll frequently notice now that Ru will leave the room in a dead panic and refuse the rest of a movie Dee is happily watching with no issues whatsoever. It's just the way this boy is wired. Tension gets to him.
• Going to sleep. Still not a fan of naps or actually bedding down at night. He likes to keep himself awake as long as possible...and in the morning he's nigh unto impossible to rouse. Groggy to the core. Silly little mouse. Once he's down he sleeps hard and long and doesn't rouse at all but man, he sure does fight it.
• Girls. We've reached the legendary stage when girls are icky. Although, to be fair...when coaxed a bit he will admit that he's not so much repulsed by them as interested and hurt when they giggle and run away or tease him. He really means he can't figure girls out. He insists that if the baby is a girl there will be hell to pay. Yesterday at lunch I floated the idea that maybe a sister would be good, "She could tell girls to be nice to you and help you understand them. And even if no other girls would be your friend, she would, right?" He seemed pretty into that idea. Again, Dee is so different here. 
• Waiting for things. He really hates postponements and having people put him off or make him wait. Patience is not his strong suite. He is a bit prone to pestering, even after he's been told yes if the desired outcome doesn't happen fast enough. Trying to work on teaching him a bit about respect and patience and delayed gratification. Big lessons.
• Taking his vitamins. He has all chewable, candy tasting vitamins and he says he likes the flavors, but every single morning I have to watch him to be sure he actually eats what I hand out instead of palming them into his pants or dropping them on the floor or shuttling them to the kitchen on his dirty plate. Still not sure what that's all about.

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