Have been doing a good job, up until now with being quite perfectly patient with this baby. Promised myself I wouldn't get antsy and ridiculously self-indulgent and whiney like I did with Dee but then....I'm slipping just a touch. I still don't feel like I did with him and I am hopeful that I'll return to my thus-far normal state of placid floating onwards. But, really...tonight, I'm teetering on the edge of feeling a little disappointed and slightly sorry for myself.
The last couple of days I have really felt like things were starting to pick up and like labor was actually beginning. Just the very tippy toes beginning, mind you...but, beginning nonetheless. I was feeling lower back achey and kind of pre-menstrual crampy and having slightly painful contractions pretty frequently around the clock (as recently as this morning when I woke up) but yes, now things have calmed right down and the ripples are pretty well gone from the pond. I am big and awkward and just feeling like eating a lot of pizza, not really like I'm about to have a baby. Oh well. At least I don't hurt anymore. So, tomorrow I have another midwife appointment and see the chiropractor for another adjustment and I really do need to think about what I want to do for Mother's Day since I'm not going to be in labor after all. Hmm....nothing very inspired coming to me.
For now, the plan is, Think of Other Things. Lots.
That's about it. Wish I had some other brilliant solution but, that's pretty much all I've got at this point. Honestly, if Baby came right now, he or she would technically be early and as exciting as it would be to hold the new little person in my arms, I really, really want my baby fully-baked and at least in my mind, I'd rather go over than delivery early. That means I sit tight, I drink water, I make lists of productive things to do and I try not to stay awake too late at night stuttering through lists of all the things in the house that need organizing and cleaning. Heh.
So, what else is happening around here? Well, today I spent some good time in the garden, I clipped the black raspberry vines back a bit and tied the new shoots to the fence, I spread grass clipping mulch, I planted two clematis vines and my biggest project: I wove this year's twig arbor over our wicker bench. The grape vines are coming back (both made it through the winter!) which makes me very happy and the clematis will join them, clamoring over the little woven hood. I like this year's rendition quite well and so proud of myself for finishing it before the baby comes. It was a slightly superfluous project that was really bugging me. Just the sort of thing I lie in the dark thinking about at 3AM.
The lettuce in the garden is officially big enough for harvest (now if only I hadn't bought that industrial sized box of washed California salad greens). Blast. Maybe we'll have to eat what we have and snip these leaves when they're palm sized for covering burgers fresh off the grill. Doesn't that sound delicious?
Ru is so cute. Love the rabid story sponge he's become. He's been obsessed lately with Winne-the-Pooh. We were just home today with lots of good flex time so we hauled the big book of Pooh stories around the house and read in the garden, and on his bed and on the couch while I folded laundry and a few million other places. I think I read him five of the stories just today. He's determined to finish the book as soon as possible and cries every time we have to take a break and then retires to a corner with the treasured tome to re-work over E.H. Shepherd's brilliant illustrations and mouth his favorite quotes silently to himself. My family was rabid about Pooh...Milne is still the secret trade language my sisters and I quote back and forth to each other so, it is indescribably good to see my own small boy practically bathing in the same stories at the tender age of four.
And then just a few floral moments from the garden this morning. I tell you people, look at those rose buds! I swear to you, every rose bush I own is budding out fit to be tied at the moment. I'm half worried some ridiculous plague will strike and wipe them all to the ground but IF they all manage to bloom we'll be simply rolling in roses...it will a June to remember. I cannot wait to see my old homestead moss roses bloom that I dug up two years ago with my sister Foxy. They haven't bloomed for me yet but, they're all covered with little teardrop buds and I just can't wait to dip my nose into the blooms. There is nothing in this world like ancient, nameless roses.