I am hormonal. I hate it but, folks, its the honest truth. I am crying about silly things (twice this morning!), panicking constantly about how messy and disorganized the house feels and freaking the hey out about feeling generally unsettled. I am normally quite happy to be a rolling stone, play up my spontaneity and make lemonade with whatever life is handing up at the moment. No plan? No problem. We'll figure something out.
*looking slightly nervously* Don't tell anybody but, I really want a secure, stable plan for the future, and I want it somewhat desperately at the moment. There is this ticking, buzzing little guy with a twitch at the control center in the back of my brain lately who keeps shrieking "WHAT ARE WE DOING???? ARGH!!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!! MUST HAVE SECURITY!!!!" He's terribly helpful.
- A's work situation
- Buying a house
- Buying a car
- Staying in the area
- Where in the world we'll put the baby's things
Etc. etc. I know that in real life there is always this real element of uncertainty....even if we think we know our plans...its an illusion...random change happens to all of us, however secure we think we are. That said, my pregnant, hormone riddled brain wants to at least attempt stability for the next few months. This is a stressful time for me to be trying to wing it.
But, honestly...even though I'm bursting into tears every few minutes and feeling basically always on the edge of minor panic...things are pretty okay. Spring is coming. The baby is healthy. I'm feeling pretty good. We are all healthy. And there aren't any big bad things on the horizon that we can see at the moment. Must be a good time for a weekend, eh? Happy R n' R to all of you.....