Small Faults and Foibles

List time! This time a short catalog of some of my smaller, sillier flaws.

33 Things I Still Screw Up All The Time

1. I still can't remember my own brother's birthday. Its either the 22nd of July or the 25th...I think. I remember what year he was born! What can I say.
2. I can't remember what blood pressure numbers mean without looking them up. My midwife says, "Great! 112 over...something-or-other!" and I look at her blankly. EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT. Blast. 
3. I am interested in government, I care about politics, I vote contentiously and I even enjoy watching West Wing in my spare time but I have no idea who the real-life Secretary of State is or the the current Chief of Staff. *wince*
4. I am still, almost always perpetually late to appointments...even though I try really hard now, have worn watches, own a cell with reminder system and built in clock, keep lists and carry a personal calendar. A's great bane.
5. I try to eat well but, wow do I still love KFC's popcorn chicken. Totally addicting.
6. I don't exercise. I hate exercise. I hate myself for hating exercise but I do. I hate my muscles hurting, I hate that ache in my side, I hate being around ultra-fit gym rats, I hate sweating. I do like yoga.
7. I can't work combination locks. I carried all of my books all the way through my public high school years rather than ever try to learn how to use my locker combination. I am also a wimp about humiliation.
8. I have a terrible ear. I have good tone and I really love music but, I have a hard time hearing what "in tune" is and my pitch wobbles all over the place. I'm totally mortified by this and I'm pretty embarrassed actually to sing in front of people because I feel powerless to even know when I'm making a fool out of myself. (and other reasons why I'll never make it on Broadway)
9. I never change the sheets often enough. I always mean to but, yeah. 
10. I have very, very low tolerance for road rage. I think its completely intolerable. How's that for slightly absurd?
11. My husband works in software and honestly, I have a hard time remembering if its Silicone or Silicon Valley. I try to avoid that word. 
12. I don't really know all of my times tables.
13. I buy brown rice, ready-made and frozen in boxes at Trader Joe's and almost never make it from scratch. Its so much quicker and easier and so versatile...plus its a convenience food I feel fairly moral about eating.
14. I can't keep its and it's straight in my head. A hates this one too.
15. I never remember to lock the door, turn off the thermostat when opening windows or check to make sure all the burners on the stove are off.
16. I buy magazines newsstand. And I even realize its a humongous waste of money. *wince wince wince*
17. I want to live organically, I am leaning towards earth mother chic and purposely buy the lowest chemical shampoos and conditioners I can find for my family but, I bleach my hair.
18. I basically never exfoliate my feet and they're pretty dry and calloused.
19. I let my sons get dirt under their fingernails and hardly ever comb their hair.
20. I bathe but once a week myself...if I'm lucky.
21. I am a genuine college graduate (bachelor's degree anyhow) and I have never made myself a real resume.
22. I always take out my earrings before bed but sometimes I leave on my make-up.
23. I hate prioritizing To Do Lists. I just refuse. 
24. I don't like much in the way of Christian style writing despite being committedly Christian myself.
25. I think lavender is stinky.
26. I don't know how to make fudge. I've tried a million times but, it always is horrible. My mother-in-law makes amazing fudge. This is very handy for A.
27. I can't pull off khakis decently. They make me look frumpy, fat or just dorky.
28. I don't understand football or baseball beyond the basic, "both teams try to make points by kicking/hitting ball in the appropriate direction."
29. I never really "got" U2 or The Dave Matthews Band.
30. I rarely go to bed with a shining sink, empty of all dirty dishes. 
31. I can't be bothered to learn or even write down my own sisters addresses. I call them from the Post Office a lot ("So, Foxy....here I am with a Sharpie, at the Post Office drop box and I'm wondering if I can get your address.")
32. I can never remember to air-dry our underwear or bathing suits, yeah they all end up in the dryer tumbling around on high heat just like everything else...every single time.
33. I have always been a lousy swimmer. I can swim but, I'll never go Olympic, that's for sure.

So, there you have it. I'm just that human.