Run Carlie, Run

Well friends, I can't rightly believe it myself but, it's true...last night, I went running by myself, for the first time in my life.

I had made an amendment resolution that besides just doing yoga in the mornings, five days a week, I'd  do one aerobic workout on the weekends. A huge, huge thing for me to promise. I hate aerobic workouts. But friends, there are lungs and a heart, not just leg muscles to stretch and a mind to relax so I bit the bullet. It's a new year, it's a new me.

And yeah, my friend Sam has been inspiring my eyeballs out, AND my friend Anna, two non-runners who suddenly positively athletic. I had told myself that once it was warm out, I'd run outdoors like Sam was. (Barefoot running! So exciting!) Yeah. Barefoot running will be cool, and I sure can't wait for outdoor warmth again but if I'm doing an aerobic something anyhow...why not run now. And then I forgot about it. Heh.

And then there I was last night, reading a book in which a woman makes positive life-changes (one of which is exercise) and I remembered..."Oh crud. I was supposed to run this weekend. I blew that." And then, I realized it was still Sunday night and before I lost my nerve, I dug my old tennis shoes out of the closet, pulled on a sweatshirt, a scarf and a hat and bolted out the door.

I didn't do anything impressive. I went around the block. And I don't mean I ran around the block. I ran down one side of our block and I walked the rest, in slight pain from the running bit. It hurt and I felt fat and pathetic and super uncool but, I also was so proud of myself and the night wasn't nearly as painfully cold as I'd imagined and there was Orion winking brightly over the corner of our neighbor's roof. So, that was something.

I'm trying to block the memory of the searing burn in my lungs and just ride the high of finally being big enough to do something good, even if it's hard and scary. Next Sunday night, you know where I'll be.