Crutches No More

A is off his crutches, although not quite back to normal, which is a very lovely thing. No more fear of stairs, no more terrifyingly slow crosswalk use, no more jamming them into the mini-van like another slim, metallic person, and no more A tripping everyone in sight with his dastardly go-go-gadget metal arms....just kidding on that last one. :) It is very nice though. The others are real gratefulnesses and we are so glad to have life a tiny bit more usual again.

The weather has been lovely but I hear that a tropical storm...morphing into a hurricane is slowly working its way up the coast. Time to hunker down. I need to post our ancient metal fireplace insert on Craigslist and then have the chimney cleaned so that we can have fires on the hearth again while we sit huddled with a stack of reads. Ru is getting better and better at reading but it is a mysterious skill almost entirely confined to his "reading book" where I've been working with him.

He is just starting to experiment with muttering sounds under his breath in a forgotten corner of the house or in the inner reaches of the minivan when he thinks I am not listening. His brow puckers and he makes little staccato attempts at sounding out an advertisement for Reese's cups or the latest volume of Asterix and Obelix from the library. Its a tenuous dance. I love watching him teeter on the edge of discovering the world of print but I hate to let him wait too long or miss the opportunity when he doesn't accidently make it work for himself. How much to push and how much let it be organic? The age old question. Just how unschooler am I?

This morning I lost Nib for a bit and then finally he answered  my shouts and came tripping brightly down from the second floor. It took until lunchtime before I figured out what he'd been up to. We had a "picnic" lunch on the kitchen floor together (Mommy laziness trick!) and I noticed he'd neatly address stamped the soles of his feet. If ever lost....he'll be no problem to return...as long as he's turned upside down and examined barefoot.

Zen Quilting

Life is calming down around here. We're back to trying to follow a housekeeping routine, catching up on the dishes and the laundry are a daunting task but I am starting to believe it might happen soon. I can at least find clothes in the drawers again.

 We've been doing lots of slowing down though...cancelling things, playing outdoors, reading together and naps, naps, naps. I've been working on a compilation of data about how to increase the strength of the immune system, since we've all been clearly a bit low and susceptible.

 I got the urge to mend our big master bed quilt the other day, there were flaps open on several of the patches after a lot of use and love over the last decade. Once I sat down in the sunshine with a needle in my hand, I couldn't stop.

 I did the utilitarian mending and then after all the holes were closed I just kept going. Its a block quilt with no real top stitching anywhere and so I just did some random top stitching, following my inner creative urges. It was so cozy there in the sun, with my needle, and the little stitch tracks going in and out and in and out....

 One of the most incidentally meditational things that has happened to me in a long time. I could be  hand quilter for hire. Any brilliant quilters out there who love the piecing and need a slightly obsessive, tiny bit harried housewife to sit glaze-eyed for hours pleasantly stitching designs over the patchwork? I am your woman! Please get in touch directly.

Checkups and Coral With a Side of Pea Shoots

Have just had another little check-up at the midwife and tomorrow I take the two big boys to their yearly appointments as well. Its a week for medical doctoring. We usually get very simple, happy news at the pediatricians. We've been very lucky to have such normal, easy childhood health situations so far. I do think there may be some shots for Dee which will be tricky since Ru is positively exultant over the fact that he is quite done with shots for a few years. Please lets not have a meltdown.

Brothers fooling around on Mommy's cell phone, under my recently framed apple painting in the office.

My appointment went well. Heartbeat sounds strong and clear (135!), my blood pressure is pumping along at a perfectly healthy spot, iron just a touch low, glucose test was all clear, and my weight...have I told you about my weight? My weight was wonderful! They always tell you to gain 20-25 lbs during a pregnancy and then I always gain more like 40-50 lbs. Intimidating to the max. Part of the problem is that I binge eat when stressed and pregnancy brings out very worst in my emotional instability. Part of it is honestly just laziness in menu planning and eating. But this time around I am doing amazingly well. I've gained 20 lbs so far and between last appointment and this I didn't gain anything at all, just held steady, although Baby continues to measure larger.

Typical lunch at our house. A plate full of nibbly bits, lots of produce and nothing that requires Mommy to cook. :)

I have been doing a good job lately, trying to eat carefully during the week and allow myself to cut loose on the weekends. I've heard this sort of back and forth effect is good for the metabolism and keeps food restraint from getting too restrained to keep up. I also gave up drive-through restaurants for Lent which was a very good plan. I sometimes skipped fast food and just went home to get food or even dashed into the grocery store and made better choices for quick lunch ideas. Am hoping to keep this going. I am also trying to track what I eat as consistently as I can and watch my nutrients using Fitday to be sure I'm hitting all the targets which is far more interesting and encouraging to me than watching calories.

You can see the matching baskets and new runner on top of the bookcase here.

In other news, my Interior Design class is done. I feel so-so about it. Am not terribly inspired as a result of what I heard and learned and I don't feel accomplished in the subject or anything like that but it is a toe in the door. I think I may take an online class next to see if a different instructor helps. My assignment for the class was the living room in our house and although I have just a few new ideas and no real progress there I did get a few thoughts for the dining room.

I put all our regularly used eating accoutrements (olive oil, salt, pepper, butter, etc.) into a pretty basket that matches one for bibs and cloth napkins. When the meal is over the get cleared to the top of my cookbook cupboard which functions as a sort of sideboard. I also bought matching runners for the top of the bookcase and the dining room table to try to pull in the coral color inside the corner cupboards. And I bought a stunning ceramic bowl for a between-meals centerpiece.

Am madly in love with it. Am now considering painting the walls a soft oatmeal grey to set off the white and coral accents. What do you think? After of course, I finish all this crazy spring cleaning I'm in the middle of.

The pea shoots are turning their velvety leaves to the sky and starting to uncurl tendrils here and there. I am hoping they really begin to climb sometime this week. We have forecasts for warmer weather and even a little rain (Heavens, we could use rain!) and spring is really chasing us down! Hooray!

Eating To Live

I have a pal who keeps asking me to write a post about how I eat. I've written before about my foodie philosophy thoughts but never specifically about meal planning and nutrition and health and what I think about eating well. So, this post is for you, Jo....

Image via Wikipedia

I'm the daughter of a hippie, raised on Adelle Davis and granola so in some sense health and deep interest in natural eating has been ingrained in me. (Thanks Mama! I'm eternally grateful!) I've done all kinds of reading and research about food and the upshot of my study is that I really, truly believe that whole foods, as found in nature are healthy and processed foods, particularly refined flour and sugar are poison. I know that sounds unnaturally strong and unpopular but its what I really have uncovered. I eat grains if they're whole, I try to minimize breads, pastries and pasta since flour doesn't do us a lot of nutritional favors. We have pasta once a week, for Sunday night dinner and it is always whole grain, sometimes I eat the sauce over steamed or sauteed veggies instead of noodles.

Here are some of the food tips I use to try to guide myself to eat well:

• Three colors of produce at each meal.
• Each dinner I make has a protein source (not necessarily animal), a cooked veggie, a raw veggie and a fruit, and sometimes a grain (usually rice or quinoa).
• Solid breakfast every day....no exceptions, ever.
• Drinks at our house are water, milk, tea and coffee (once a day on occasion), and lately sometimes fresh juice I make in my juicer.
• Chocolate is our sweet of choice, always dark an eaten in small squares. 
• Fat is not the enemy. We drink whole milk, we butter our veggies, we eat our steaks untrimmed, we saute in olive oil and we eat cheese regularly. (note however, that none of us are lactose intolerant)
• I cook and shop from a subscription menu planner that is delivered to my email account weekly. You can find it here, if you're curious.
• We buy fruit in quantity and keep it out in the open to encourage eating it for snacks.

I've done all kinds of things to stay healthy I've weaned myself down to skim milk, I've eaten diet products, I've lived on gas station cappuccinos, but I feel healthier sticking to my current eating regime than I ever have in my life. And the research heavily supports this kind of eating. There is a lot of evidence to prove the theory that something serious is wrong with modern, Western eating...people all over the world are leaving their native diets and adopting our fast food, convenience lifestyle and they are suddenly and dramatically inheriting our legacy of heart disease, obesity and diabetes. I truly believe that aging in a strong, fit way is possible and normal on the right diet. Although exercise is supportive and good, evidence tells us the most alarming factor is that we've left foods that make us strong and healthy for foods that are toxic, dangerous poison. I really believe that modern processed foods are the single source of most current health issues in America.

Lest you think I'm some sort of glowing, fork holding poster child, let me share that I am also a compulsive eater who has major weakness in the food department. I have a hard time coping with emotions, usually negative ones and I eat to calm down and feel good again. I wish a salad made me feel sane again but right now I'm pretty trapped in eating foods that I know are toxic and dangerous when the panic hits. I can eat well most of the time but as soon as the chips are down...I head for a gas station candy bar or a cookie stashed in the freezer from Christmas...or five or eight. I want to kick this habit. I need to learn other ways of calming myself and I need to just cut these dangerous foods out of my life so they aren't even there in the freezer if life does take a sudden bad turn.


I was just saying today that I am pretty committed to eating a real food, no processed goods diet but I need some form of support. So, at homeschool coop today, I told the other crunchy mommies about my plan...and then afterwards we ran to Whole Foods to pick up a couple things and serendipitously there was a woman there, signing people up for the Eat Right America Challenge, a 28 day real foods pledge with built in email and real life support. If you have a local store, you might want to think about joining me. 

Image via Wikipedia

If you're curious about where I'm getting these wild nutrition ideas consider checking out a few of the following sources and beginning your own research campaign:

Books
Nutrition and Physical Degeneration
Nourishing Traditions
Real Food, What to Eat and Why
The Omnivores Dilemma
Deep Nutrition
50 Secrets of the World's Longest Living People

Movies
Sick Fat and Nearly Dead
Food Inc.
Fast Food Nation
Forks Over Knives

Related articles

• you.are.what.you.eat ::: The Food Matters Project (keelymarie.com)
• Why your Grandma has better diet than you, balanced habits 7 (balancedprofessional.com)
• Processed Foods vs. Whole Foods (bleilerfitness.com)
• The "Asian Paradox": How Can Asians Eat So Much Rice and Not Gain Weight? (marksdailyapple.com)
• Clean Eats (givethanksandpraise.wordpress.com)

The Here And Now

Our fig tree is making fruit!

Life is slow and gentle at our house today. I painted this morning with my art fellowship group, we did a little errand running and now there's a chicken, slow roasting in the oven while we dash off for a post-nap park run and then pick up A from work.

Cold winter light through my blue bottle collection on the kitchen sill

I picked up paint to turn the foyer/entry area into a dark teal color with glossy white trim, a new print of a Jose Royo portrait is in the mail to me to hang on the main wall and I am hoping to attack the cupboard that I've stationed there to catch keys, and hold a scented candle and house baskets of mittens.

Little sculpture, little plant life: bright spots in our sunroom.

What else is new? The weather is insane. Last week we had chilly temps and our first real accumulation of snow. I was out shoveling snow up around the bee hive to insulate it extra and try to provide some protection. And then abruptly over the weekend we had a blast of warm air and a long rainy drizzle that made all the snow disappear into a swirl of foggy mist. The upside is, I've been out counting daffodil tips in the flower beds and have taken to morning walks before anyone else is up. (Yay motivation to be physical!) The downside is that although April weather feels good, it is after all only January and something feels unsettled in the pit of my stomach at all this balmy cheer. I hope the trees and the bees can weather it alright.

I can't get enough kumquats. And they're cute as all get out.

My reading list at the moment. Food issues, birth, gardening, poems. Good fodder.

I'm eating well....doing all in my power to avoid ridiculous cravings and gain control of my urge to sooth myself with food. (see the top book on my current reading stack above, for reference) I have dusted off my juicer and been revving myself up once daily with the juice of the hour and am still tracking what I eat on fitday, aiming for optimal nutritional content. I am also doing a pretty good job at weighing myself and tracking my progress there. I have gained 10 lbs so far this pregnancy and am at week 21 so I'm feeling good.

How I'm looking these days.

Speaking of pregnancy, the other big news is that we've found a midwife! It's about time! Halfway through is wayyyyy to late for my comfort level...but better late than never. We'll be delivering at the only birth center in the state this time which will bring my personal birth experience to a new level of well-rounded since I've been at home, and in the hospital already. Good for a future midwife, right? Someone tell me yes. Am still feeling a little bit unsettled and nervous about it but they have told me they're willing to handle my ITP and allow me to birth in their cozy home-like birthing room. I have found no other midwife besides Martha, my late provider who was willing to take on a blood issue like mine so that was a deal maker for sure. We're an hour away which is kind of annoying and there are still a few more medically procedures that I'll have to deal with than I'd prefer but it seems like a good solution so over-all I'm feeling grateful. My first real appointment is on February 2nd. Am looking forward to getting the ball rolling.

Pregnancy, Fitness and Mind Abuse

 Since it is January and all I'm thinking again about fitness. I'm back on board writing down the things I eat along with A who is fantastically consistent at it and keeping track of my nutritional intake on Fitday.com's handy little iPhone app (I still sometimes use the more comprehensive website, so don't be shy, non-smart phonies!) and I'm weighing myself every morning.

Image by Justin Liew via Flickr

 I genuinely regret slacking off on my running and then throwing in the towel. Summer heat is a major enthusiasm killer for me and I think the time period where it really started to get warm out is when I quit. Lots of people think the idea of running in the cold is crazy but for me it doesn't seem nearly as daunting as running in heat. When you run in winter you warm up and feel okay but in July running sounds like a completely terrifying thing to me.

Pregnant with Nib, no real prenatal shots this time around yet.

Truth be told there are several factors at work with me and fitness. One of the last times I ever ran was when I was in Florida on vacation with my in-laws and I think the combination of social intimidation ("Let's all go for a group run!") coupled with warm weather ate me alive. I tried to feel brave but honestly, I wimped out and walked back after quitting part way through our planned group run. I've been thinking frustratedly lately about intimidation and fear and all the crazy triggers I have for panics regarding fitness and exercise (being watched, sweating, physical pain, falling, feeling embarrassed...etc.). Consciously, when I think about it I realize that none of those things is going to kill me, none of them are objectively bad and lots of them would maybe even have something good to offer me.

This is where a personal trainer in my back pocket would really come in handy. One of the great things about a trainer is that they can order you through the blocks you set up for yourself, believe in you ceaselessly, know better than you about limitations and safety and not allow you to fink out when things get rough even if the rough is mental. Anyone have any great ways to stay fit while pregnant and/or brilliant ways to be your own personal trainer and order yourself to keep on and develop discipline even though you're scared? I've love to grow this way.

Related articles

• 10 fears that keep people from the gym (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Pregnancies linked to a healthier heart (nation.com.pk)
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• Chicago Personal Trainer Shares Most Common Fitness Mistakes (prweb.com)

Midwives, Past and Present

Just trying to psyche myself up to call the midwife we think we've finally picked after a few weeks of interviews and appointment setting. I am so weary from all of it. I really hate interviewing, selecting things and the whole lead-up that comes before actually doing things. I also hate calling people on the phone. Ack! I am however, really looking forward to the part where I actually have a caregiver and we can start on genuine prenatal appointments.

My wonderful previous midwife, Martha....checking Nib out post-delivery.

After every interview we'd load all the kids back in the car and start the drive home, discussing the candidate midwife and what we thought of her and compiling a verbal pro and con list. And I'd sit there thinking in the resulting silence after we'd finished..."Crap. I miss Martha. (my old midwife) " Sometimes change sucks. When it comes right down to it I like the familiar and the comforting, those I already know and the previous good compared with the blank future full of "possibles." I hope Martha is enjoying her sabbatical time away in California, I am sending her a long chain of love over the mountains and the plains, I hope she knows she has been a great inspiration and comfort to me in labor and pregnancy and life. I hope she is getting some good, restful care herself now, the caregivers of the world so often need that kind of love themselves. And here's hoping that the new midwife ends up being just exactly the right person for the job.

Martha, does Nib's newborn exam and narrates for big brothers.

I am 14 weeks now, with just my pinky toes over the 2nd trimester line, not really "showing" in any impressive way and still wearing normal clothes just no longer feeling sick to my stomach. I am really looking forward to feeling the baby move and hearing the little heartbeat.

This is what I look like these days, not much belly to show yet which is just fine with me.

Our homebirth midwife used a fetoscope instead of a Doppler to listen to the heartbeat which meant that it was a much trickier endeavour to pick up the sound of the heart, the fetoscope, not being an electronic, amplified instrument is much more subtle, like a slightly exaggerated stethoscope. This means the heartbeat for the fetoscope served homebirth patient is a little later experience, Martha, my last midwife was a wizard with hers and could hear the heartbeat towards the end of the 1st trimester but I could never pick it out myself until the 2nd and not very solidly until the 3rd.

Dee testing out the fetoscope on his puzzled, kid brother's head. Can you hear brains?

My friend Nutmeg gave us her fetoscope so that we have one for trying out and practicing with at home. I have been giving it a try lately but so far I can't pick up anything but my own breathing and heartbeat. I am no Martha. :) Looking forward to hearing that little galloping sound sometime soon.

Related articles

• I heart my midwife! (ghostwritermummy.wordpress.com)
• The Birth I Always Wanted (diligenthousewife.wordpress.com)
• Kian Immanuel. A (very long) Birth Story (worldwidewilkens.wordpress.com)
• Erykah Badu Finds New Calling in midwifery (afroetic.com)
• Erykah Badu is Becoming a Midwife (inquisitr.com)

We Did Survive!

 deer prints in our garden

There are bird calls outside my window this morning that I don't remember the labels for anymore after a long, cold winter. Lots of singing going on anyhow, and it sure feels like there are more winged residents in the neighborhood suddenly. Lots of sunshine today and a clear blue sky, noticed the snow had melted away again when I took in the morning view from my bedroom window. I found myself squinting for the sight of skunk cabbage tips peeping through the carpet of brown leaves under the sycamore and the oaks. So far, nothing but, soon, it'll be there and for now...I'm feeling the possibility in a very hopeful way.  And wow...first big spring sighting!!! When the boys and I went outside to play this afternoon I wasn't hallucinating tiny lime green dots on the forest floor. Our local skunk cabbage crop had put out two blossoms. Woohoo!!!! You can bet the local honeybees are every bit as excited as I am. Spring flowers have officially begun.

skunk cabbage blooming!

Feels darn good to be hopeful about anything after a weekend like we've had. This stomach bug that everybody is passing around is the pits...I don't recommend trying it with a squirming person inside of you already. Thankfully, we all feel quite human this morning...the washing machine is whirring away, the dishes are pretty caught up somehow, fresh homemade bread is cooling on the counter and I have a crockpot full of chicken soup simmering away slowly next to the sink. We will make it.

 construction truck patrol across our yard

our black raspberry canes, along the garden fence

This week we get serious about talking to mortgage consultants and begin the big shop around for good rates and best deals and try to get pre-approval all sealed up and done and I get serious about our California plans. Time to compile lists and strike things off and highlight others and figure out what we'll see and when and how insane we're going to be in our quest of adventure, desire to spend time with family and love of nature. I saw another round of drive-by houses this past week and found a few more possibilities although, still nothing that's really making my heart sing any arias. Would like to get out again this afternoon to check out another round.

wild wineberry cane from the woods behind the garden

The next two big tasks on my list are, potty train Dee (he's practically teaching himself anyway) and organize and purge the children's closet in preparation for baby planning. It is suddenly now seeming like a very good idea to know what exactly we have and what we don't.

a little horticultural repose

On the potty training front, Dee as I said is practically teaching himself. I am very rarely taking him to the toilet but he asks me if he can go and I started out no longer changing dirty diapers at all and now I'm starting to have him make it all the way through the whole day with just one diaper period. Dirty or wet...diapers are clearly outmoded here. So, I need to just get it together and put him in underwear and give him the necessary instructions about keeping them dry and maybe spend a day or two down on the non-carpeted areas of the house. I hear sometimes you just luck out with certain kids like this...I'm not sure why its happening...but, I'm for it.

My Eater's Manifesto

A gave me several cookbooks for Christmas and I have been reading slowly through them, note-taking my way through a book on breastfeeding nutrition and also another on feeding children in a health manner. Yesterday I picked up a copy of Bon Appetit at the check-out. One of the things that was hardest for me about my week of spring cleaning was that I took a total vacation from the kitchen and we ate all prepared foods, by the end I was fantasizing about the myriads of things I could bake and serve when I was finished. Food matters. I know its important to everyone on some level but, clearly we're really into it at our house.

You might even call A and I foodies and get away with it. I like food, he likes food, we like exploring food and eating food and cooking food and growing food and buying food. We'll eat pretty much anything once. Still, I have a hard time with the label foodie because it gets all confused with "gourmet" (a label I once was trying on for size but have now let go). I'm no food elitist...I think homemade chicken noodle soup is every bit as wonderful as filet mignon with Bearnaise sauce. Good food is good food from the most simple, hearth cooking and the dirt-covered, homegrown carrot to the most elegant, architectural dessert plating. I don't eschew fancy food, everybody likes a treat now and then but, its not on any kind of pedestal in my world and I am not trying to pretend to be a chef in my home. I'm a housewife and a home cook and for the most part, I cook homey stuff. Simple stuff, the stuff of life. Pasta. Steak. Slow cooker soup. Homemade bread. So, only call me a foodie if you mean food lover not if you mean snooty-Francophile-chef-imitator. And please, never be afraid to serve me mac and cheese in a box or a grilled cheese on white bread, I promise, I'm not too good for your kitchen.

One of the other pieces of my food world that could get me confused with a gourmet and make people think I'm a food snob is health-foodism. I am an admittedly crunchy person. I believe in pro-biotic foods, I like to maximize my local food intake, we eat a lot of produce at our house, I try to serve fish frequently, I think honey is good and white sugar is bad, I like to buy my eggs right from the farmer, I buy grass-fed beef and free-range poultry, I drink raw milk....etc. etc. This isn't because I'm too good for such-and-such a "normal" food, its just because I care a lot about health and from my reading on nutrition these look like vastly superior choices. I realize not everyone can afford to buy these things and would never prescribe the preceding list as some kind of moral imperative. BUT....its not food snobbery either. I'm not trying to make the most elegant, expensive choices possible, I just want to serve and eat good food. Not fancy, good. They're different.

Even though I'm not obsessive gourmet type, I do find famous chefs inspiring. They are after all, some of our country's most expert food workers...they know what they're doing and occasionally, one of them changes some piece of the way I operate in the kitchen forever. Julia Child completely revolutionized my method of cooking scrambled eggs, for instance.

So, given their position of great influence, I am always excited when I hear that chefs are taking their captive audiences in hand and using their platform to teach people better ways with food. Better, not fancier. I was really excited to see Alton Brown one of the big Food Network stars lose the classic chubby chef look and pursue a new life in relationship to food. I think his perspective and dietary ideas are right on. Check out the video below and tell me what you think.