Motherhood Support

Listening to my sister-in-law, Jane, tell me about the excruciating woes of Motherhood in Times of Colic a lot lately. I sure remember so vividly the raw hours of floor pacing I did with a screaming Dee in my arms when he was a babe. This motherhood gig (as my father-in-law often says) is serious business! Whew. I hear so much complaining about the modern communication devices but personally, when those I love are far away and hard times are afoot, am so glad for phones, for texting, for email and for Facebook.

I remember one night when my mother was visiting, sitting downstairs in the living room, waiting for me while I tried and tried and tried to put the toddler to sleep in his own bed. I was upstairs in a rocker outside his bedroom door with my phone and my mom was downstairs at the computer. I would put the toddler in his bed and tell him good night and then retire to my rocker to cry and curse alternately outside the door and message my mom on my phone. My mom would type, "You can do it! You're a great mommy!" and then I'd pick up the escaping toddler as he tried to escape and put him back in his bed again etc. I think I made it through that evening solely on the iron-clad  messages my phone carried from my mom downstairs. Its kind of cool to be supporting Jane now via my own boosting messages. What goes around comes around, even in a good way!

Its interesting having the chance to watch my mother-in-law do it too. Good moms, regardless of our differences with them or variations in taste are there for their children, even from far away, even when they grow up. Just because we're legal voters and can drive our own minivans doesn't mean that we don't need that encouraging pat on the back now and then and encouragement to keep on, even when it seems too hard.

Gives me a touch more patience (if I stop and think of it) with my four year old's meltdowns over trying desperately to put his own shoes on. Sometimes we all need to be talked down from the edge and told that we manage, even with the small things.

What Geeks Say In Their Sleep

Dear A...sweet, geeky man who is occasionally more machine now than man. Your coding work, I fear, has stolen some piece of your brain that may be irreplaceable. At least your technology riddled inner self is amiable, even in sleep. 

Just had to share this experience I had last night around 3 A.M.

So, its pitch black and I'm sleeping and then I wake up to that oh-so-familiar pit pat pit pat pit pat sound of small feet coming down the hall in the dark. And I hear Ru pad up to A's side of the bed and say quietly but insistently, "Daddy?"
There is no real response and I think about intervening but, I note that he's looking for A and decide not to meddle so I lie there quietly in the dark and listen instead.
"Daddy???"
*finally, grunt-style acknowledgment from A*
(Good enough...Ru forges ahead) "
Mommy was making a typing noise, typing on her computer in the rocking chair in my room but her is not there now." (hmmm clearly he's been dreaming...there is no way I was up typing at 3, heh) I wait to see what A will say to soothe him back to sleep.
*There is a slight pause from A and the air hangs still for a bit.* Then:
"Well." (Brightly) *another small pause while Ru and I wait for the rest*
(A continuing)
"What you should do is make a draft of the document using your template and then transfer the template over."
*And here I suddenly have to burrow deeply into my pillow to keep from laughing uproariously and ruining the whole serious scene and wait to see what Ru will do with that*
There is a long pause...and I peek over A's shoulder and see Ru's eyes, saucer-wide peeking over the edge of the bed. And then he finally says:
"Daddy? What are those?"

And then...yes, I did intervene. I explained that nobody was typing in his room and that I was right there and he didn't need to worry about templates or drafts tonight and did he want a kiss on his way back to bed? So he scampered off and A never even grunted again, the rest of the night.

He might have been sleeping deeply last night but his brain was on, full power...at least full power work mode. Heh.