Ru, Right Now.

Time to have a son-hunt...peer through the minutia of details that make up my oldest and figure out what is new and different, what hasn't been mentioned, what's unique and what is important in his world. Things change, lets notice, shall we?

Ru Likes:

• The color lime green: His surprising new favorite. I was totally taken aback when he told me. I had no idea. It was red for the longest time.
• Frozen yogurt joints: This is one of his favorite solo outing locations. The frozen yogurt bars with pump your own machines and a long  buffet of toppings are popping everywhere around here lately so they make handy places to bop in and have some quality one on one. 
• Friends: This kid is always pushing us to get out there and get connected. He's an immediate fan of going to anyone's house or meeting anyone at the park and is always asking when is the next chance to have a friend over. Love it. 
• Hugs: This kid can't get enough physical connection. He's my oldest and still one of the snuggliest. A (who is teaching math at our house) has figured out that the best way to sweeten the dreaded subject is to reward hard work on a section with a snuggle session on Daddy's lap. Love that he holds my hand when we are out and about and comes up for a squeeze whenever he thinks of it. I hope he holds onto his love for affection and warm touch. 
• Leave It to Beaver: You can thank me. I introduced him and now his brothers and Lockbox are subjected to an instant suggestion of, "What About Leave It To Beaver???" whenever we get a few minutes to watch a little show. They are not fans. Oops.
• Combing his hair in funky ways: I think I need to buy him some gel. He's old enough anyway...every morning I have "comb your hair" as part of each boy's morning routine and he got really excited about it when he realized that meant he could comb it however he wanted. Almost every morning when he goes up to brush, he comes down with a new part or a zany do. Have to take pictures of them and post a collection. We have a Crazy Hair Day coming up this semester in our co-op we are part of....I think he'll be pretty pleased. I see him nailing it.
• What Does The Fox Say: I have a pre-teen. He looks and sounds just like a pre-teen when "his song" comes on....more so when he has guy pals rockin' along with him in the car to this insanely ridiculous song. 

Ru Detests:

• The word "sassy:" We have been having a challenge with getting him to remember to make respectful word choices and remember to use a polite tone of voice. Somewhere along the line I picked up this word and reflexively use it to remind him. Somehow its like nails on a chalkboard. He hates that word, I'm trying to walk a line between remembering to use a word that he isn't so reactive to (rude, inappropriate, disrespectful) and trying make sure he remembers to be polite even when I do use the word sassy. Tricky stuff, this parenting gig.
• Spaghetti squash: At our house spaghetti night means spaghetti squash with the customary pasta fixins. Ru has taken to skipping the squash which he claims gives him a headache (tall tale? Hmm) and just eating the meatballs, sauce and cheese. I hated all squash as a kid and he still eats other kinds with impunity so I feel bested. 
• Making his bed: He has a top bunk. Making bunk beds is the worst. I hated it that part whenever I slept in a bunk bed and I hated it all through the years when he couldn't make his own bed yet and I was making his bunk bed. Making bunk beds is the worst.
• Having his nails clipped short: Every time I trim his nails he's after me to be sure to leave him a little extra space. I even bought him a nail brush so that he could keep his slightly longer nails clean. Maybe he's destined to be a classical guitarist? I wouldn't cry.
• Readers: He's learned to read and he realizes that "readers" are dumbed down fake books with thin to no storyline. He recognizes that giant print and the absurdly clipped words and he's not down with that and he's no dummy. Time for real books. Big boy stuff, yo.
• Mosquitoes: I mean, who doesn't, right? But, seriously...he's my paranoid skeeter man at the moment. Maybe its living in our yard where we have somehow managed to cultivate a special environment friendly to mosquitoes, they descend in clouds in the late afternoon. He's our bug repellent guard dog, anytime he notices bugs biting he runs in and gets the spray to douse his brothers and himself and then when that particular stage of the evening arrives where they become irrepressible he shoos his brothers inside because he doesn't want anyone chewed up. Love his vigilance.
• Strict People: Some people thrive with structure and love people who make the firm lines clear to them. Some people respect leaders who are disciplined, and then some people feel like those kinds of adults are walking around with a stick up their rears. Ru really doesn't like extra stern folks, extra strict people and people who are very hard-line about rules. If you can't loosen up, you might not end up on his favorites list. The idea of martial arts has kind of faded after visiting a class we thought we'd put him in around the corner with a very strict, traditional teacher, direct from Japan. Ru blanched and said, "Um. How about skateboards?"

He's Off!!!

Whiz! Bang!

He's mobile! 

This is what happens these days when you change him and then turn your back to the baby for a second to hunt up his booties. He doesn't lie still on that mat for love or money. There's a world out there! Why waste time!

Motherhood Support

Listening to my sister-in-law, Jane, tell me about the excruciating woes of Motherhood in Times of Colic a lot lately. I sure remember so vividly the raw hours of floor pacing I did with a screaming Dee in my arms when he was a babe. This motherhood gig (as my father-in-law often says) is serious business! Whew. I hear so much complaining about the modern communication devices but personally, when those I love are far away and hard times are afoot, am so glad for phones, for texting, for email and for Facebook.

I remember one night when my mother was visiting, sitting downstairs in the living room, waiting for me while I tried and tried and tried to put the toddler to sleep in his own bed. I was upstairs in a rocker outside his bedroom door with my phone and my mom was downstairs at the computer. I would put the toddler in his bed and tell him good night and then retire to my rocker to cry and curse alternately outside the door and message my mom on my phone. My mom would type, "You can do it! You're a great mommy!" and then I'd pick up the escaping toddler as he tried to escape and put him back in his bed again etc. I think I made it through that evening solely on the iron-clad  messages my phone carried from my mom downstairs. Its kind of cool to be supporting Jane now via my own boosting messages. What goes around comes around, even in a good way!

Its interesting having the chance to watch my mother-in-law do it too. Good moms, regardless of our differences with them or variations in taste are there for their children, even from far away, even when they grow up. Just because we're legal voters and can drive our own minivans doesn't mean that we don't need that encouraging pat on the back now and then and encouragement to keep on, even when it seems too hard.

Gives me a touch more patience (if I stop and think of it) with my four year old's meltdowns over trying desperately to put his own shoes on. Sometimes we all need to be talked down from the edge and told that we manage, even with the small things.

Life With Four

My mom has gone home, sailing back to her own life through a bright blue sky at the end of last week. I am mistress of my own galley again. And oh, how the poop deck needs swabbing! I was hoping to get a really solid jab at it this morning but instead we had a troop of gigantic Polish plumbers to the house to work on our collection of antique radiators.

They are all immense grinning men who wear heavy cologne and speak rapid fire staccato Polish to each other in hearty voices, running up and down my stairs between smoke breaks in the driveway. On said smoke breaks they all lean against their cargo van with cigarettes dangling from their big grins and make wise cracks at Ru who stands there in a Peter Pan pose on the lawn and peppers them with questions. Right now they're trying to teach him how to shout "Red and white!" in Polish so that he can cheer for their national soccer team. They're immensely more entertaining than housework. I have to give them that.

The boys all think it is extremely entertaining whenever we have workmen to the house of any kind. They still call them "Fixers" a mysterious race of able bodied, heavily biceped dudes who know how things work, arrive with battallions of tools and then proceed to do the unthinkable, take things apart and fix them! I admire their gusto for the trades but they are a bit hard to keep out from underfoot...especially since they keep multiplying! Four little boys is a lot of little boys sometimes! The plumbers have had the doors propped open on both ends of the house which means that I feel a little like I'm trying to keep a troup of trick poodles contained in a box with no flaps. Whew!

Otherwise, life is very jolly...we're reading Pippi Longstocking and eating all the sugar snap peas out of hand, and avoiding sweeping the floors far more than we should. The skies are clear and the weather is balmy and the baby is impossibly cuddle-able, so far so good. I did cry all the way home from the airport when I dropped off my mom but today a stunning bouquet arrived at my front door from her and so I am having a pretty upbeat beginning.