Space Sharing With Your Spouse

Feeling a little cramped in my own house today. A has been holed up in the office all week on important (must keep the kids quiet!!!) phone calls and dodging in and out of the house for meetings and gym runs. This morning he left while I was out with the boys and he locked up out of the house by accident. Its so hard to switch up your regular routine and toss a new person and new demands into it, right? It seems so cozy to spend extra time together but the reality is a little stickier.

I always thought I was extrovert until I realized that being an introvert is more about needing alone time than it is about hating people. Read this fabulous book all about introvertism and came away with a whole new perspective and an understanding about my need for space and recharging. Makes sense that having my little world invaded, even by my own spouse, would make me feel a little encroached upon now that I feel legit about my own wiring. Autumn feels like a season that pushes all the introvert buttons extra hard too, its all of the moment: stand at the sink peeling apples for hours and stock the larder with homemade apple sauce, read books alone in the dark by the light of a lantern, get up in the quiet and start a coffee cake before the children get up, walk home from work alone and take a shortcut through the woods to kick leaves....you get that right?

 

Sharing is good but admitting your own needs and boundaries is also good. Sometimes a little open-eyed clarity is the key to stopping the obsession and high-stepping past your own little stumbling blocks. I think one of the problems is that I also skipped my mama-night out alone this week. So, now I'm off to the library to look for a good book that I can take off and read alone after dinner just to get myself out of the house and breathing in a little solo space.

A Christmas Date

A and I are taking time out tonight to go out alone together and get a little couple space. It's really good to do this anyhow, in normal life, but right now...when I am doing daily battle with the holiday gremlins of chaos, it's even more important.

 I need to remember that I love him, even if he drive me crazy. That we can enjoy being together. That love is the deepest, best good in life. That we are a couple, not just parents, employees, homemakers, schedulers, packers, bakers, cleaners, policemen, caregivers, creators, and homeowners. I hope this will be a new tradition. Our own, window of love in the madness of the season. A time to be still together, to step away, to absorb the beauty around us, and to purposefully make a small memory.

I'm not sure where we're going...we haven't had time to plan anything, so we'll make it up. After we go somewhere fun to eat and hopefully laugh a little bit, we're going to try to find a special Christmas ornament in a shop somewhere, for each of our boys, one that we can label with the year and their name and hold in our hands and imbue with all the warmth and richness that this year has held for our family. A small way to remember this time and try to help ourselves stir the aroma of purposeful hope just before we rush wildly out of town.

A Sheaf of Painted Papers

Just sharing more of my latest paintings with you all today...been a while since I posted any of them. I'm still swishing away with my brushes on Tuesdays at my art group and loving it just as well. There is nothing that can replace community...to do things that you love in the company of others who love it just the same will give you a power not to be underestimated. I am quite addicted.

These ducklings are what I was working on today. 

My sister Foxy's ducklings to be exact...and I'm not done yet but I thought I'd share 

because I'm so excited with how they're coming so far. I like the composition a lot.

And here is a genuine framed painting of mine. See! 

This is actually the one I entered in the church art show I mentioned.

And in other news, today was our 8 year wedding anniversary! Hooray! Very hard to believe we have been married that long. Our marriage is in 3rd grade. Lovely. Told A tonight, during our stroll around the grounds of the New England inn where we had dinner, I think this has been our best year yet. Barring the euphoria of the year we were only dating, I think we've had no better time. And even the euphoria probably only brings that year up to a tie with this year. Pretty good stuff. Am enjoying marriage very much these days and feeling very bullish on the whole concept of another 8..... or two or three 8's as the case may be. Bring it on!

After our dinner we were driving back and woohoo!!! The periodic lobster special at one of my favorite little grocery stores was on! And we dashed in for a late night lobster run, you can never have too much lobster and when its only 5.99 a lb....why dawdle.

In some ways I feel made for New England.