Today for Poetry Friday I decided to work up a poem idea I've had simmering in my mind for ages. I've been slowly accumulating notes on this specific memory of a childhood argument with my little sister and working on trying to synthesize all the little pieces into a meaningful whole. I often remember the incident whenever I see broken glass. So, there were these poemy bits in my poetry file and then recently, I started reading this fabulous book on parenting and emotion and I felt like it brought the whole topic full circle. I've never been so-filled with hope about emotions and their place in the human experience...read it, you may find yourself welling up compassion for yourself, your parents, your children and all the other people around you who are feeling deeply and being shut down, shut out or pacified. Anyhow...enough from the soapbox.
Here's the poem, dedicated to you, Foxy and here's to healing!
I regret that time I egged you on,Taunting you from behind the windowOf the just-slammed kitchen door.I should have stopped when I saw your color rise,Saw my muted jeers inflate your rageAnd fan it like a maverick breeze.I never expected that gutsy crashThe slam of pain colliding with anger,Window glass and your determined knuckles.There was a blast of explosive shattering,A war cry from your little, irate lungs andA sudden, tinkling spray of jagged confetti.I remember your fist flecked with blood and tearsA long, hard talking to and the sound of theClinking scrape as the broom erased the evidence.I felt superiorly, that I had won because you’d feltSo deeply, been so seething with emotion that your angerHad shattered into ten million glittering bits of public evidence.I wish now, that I had been able to step through that windowCup your chin inside my hands, look into yourFlaming eyes and feel the human, outrage in your soul.Instead I slammed the kitchen door on yourBudding dignity and silenced your objectionBehind a window, not strong enough to contain it.I am sorry now, does it stillCount if I am 20 years too late?
If you're a poetry lover, make sure to check out the round-up of other Poetry Friday participants at The Miss Rumphius Effect.