A Little Bit Mennonite

I'm making a collage of the pieces of myself right now...(Pinterest!!!) and one of the pieces that went in first was a Mennonite visual. My horse and buggy self is about my roots, simplicity, feeling useful  and maybe most of all belonging with other people. I am determined to build community here in California...but also, here in my mid-thirties, here in motherhood and here in the middle of the 2000's .... to surround myself with other women who are willing to work shoulder to shoulder, laugh together, cry together and help  mother each other's children.

 I am meeting interesting people out here and I am slowly piecing together a mental patchwork quilt of who in my acquaintance looks like the type who would be up for impromptu picnics, late night emergency calls from the bathroom and random canning adventures. I crave connection and can't even tell you how deeply it feeds me to have real soul like that in my life and yet...and yet.... I'm lazy. Super lazy. I don't want to be the organizer. I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, I'm not "together," I'm super great at following. I'm also just scared. I'm intimidated by other people, I feel inhibited, I worry about all the choices, I'm uselessly perfectionistic about my plans, and I worry that reaching out might be more painful than staying here alone, in my shell. I mean, seriously, I know way better. I know how great it is to reach out, even if you're received warmly 1/4 of the time. Its always worth it. Its way great.

I am considering leading a little book study for women....a small group, a group not freaked out by Bible-y things but not too uptight either. Willing to really get into the meat of issues and talk about the rabbit trails and the puzzles and the weirdness. I bought a book, I even got as far as floating the idea to the proposed women. Then I froze with my paws in the air and have just twitched my nose for about three months. So much scarey!!!! Yipes!

I am also interested in having a super random and stand-alone women's night where we do things together, practical, solid things we can touch with our hands and see finished at the end of the night. Simple sewing, canning, photo transfer projects, medicinal tinctures, natural dye work, maybe even brave stuff like simple welding. I want to work with tools and creation and messes and things that tip over and splash and look scary. I want women to take turns coming up with ideas and leading project nights...sometimes something they love to do and want to share, sometimes something they need help with and want to share the burden and sometimes something they have always wanted to try and never felt brave enough. I have no idea how to do that and I haven't posted any bills or nailed down particulars but I'm dreaming. In my dreams this group meets (on my rotation) in our garage, right off of the garden in the backyard....on a summer night  and there is golden light shining out of the windows and lots of laughter and maybe a little wine.

Today, there was no wine, but there was a very big mug of hot herbal tea and a very short chat with a couple of new friends about the overwhelm. There were hugs and smiles and understanding looks and there was even a self-care assignment which led me to the bathtub for a long, hot soak, reflecting on the ways I feel isolated and need connection and want a community. The things I need and ought to look to, and the ways in which I can be a little Amish and pull some of their simplicity, capability, warmth and peace into my friendships. I am after all, a little bit Mennonite in my soul, thank you Mama, farming roots, Ma Ingalls, and Stutsmanville Chapel (my home church which was truly a Mennonite congregation once upon a time), its part of who I am.

Poetry Friday: An Estate Sale Poem

Happy Poetry Friday to all!
I am off to romp in the yard this afternoon, since it is finally warm enough to be pleasant outdoors with no jacket. Today is little Nib's first birthday so there is lot of celebratory romping to do! We will do full festivities tomorrow when A is off work and we're having a cupcake facial massage show in the morning with full paparazzi documentation. I can't wait to see it! Highlight of the first birthday party for sure.

Image by japi14 via Flickr

This morning I'm sharing a poem I wrote about one of my favorite warm weather pursuits, estate saling. I love yard sales and clearance sales and church rummage forays but my favorite are estate liquidations. I love the age and the warmth all the items seem to have and I love wandering through the home and seeing them in situ. Something very lovely about it all. Am pleased to have the season starting again. Even though there are such sales all year round, somehow it doesn't seem appealing to go unless it is lemonade weather when you can go rolling from one sale to the next with the windows down, feeling smug in front of everyone about the amazing things you have rattling around in the back seat.

Image by Chiot's Run via Flickr

Things Found At An Estate Sale

We step step step up the front stoop and over the threshold

Wanderers on the hunt at a Saturday morning sale

In this old house that smells of honey, salt and years of sunshine.

Before the sink, I  fondle  a sturdy enamel-speckled colander,

The handles worn dull and smooth by years of touch,

And carry it along, tucked confidentially against my hip.

In the faded garage there is a tower of wee, metal berry pails,

The insides filmed with ancient, summer dust.

My son swings two by their handles,

Bopping them pleasantly against his legs as we walk.

In a soft upper bedroom, I find a tiger’s eye ring,

Etched with faded swirls, not real silver, but no matter, it has a quiet glow.

The baby has discovered a black doctor’s bag at my feet,

All cracking at the sides, which wheezes pleasantly when opened.

And here on the dresser, a handful of slim-tipped sable brushes,

Waiting in a pert cluster, for more partnership with paint.

We wind back to the kitchen, because

You never know what you’ve missed in that room.

See what I mean?

There in bent cardboard is a teal-embroidered Pyrex in the old style,

Sturdy and casserole-seasoned just waiting for a rescue.

In the hall closet there is a fishing pole with a warm cork grip,

Complete with brightly painted bobber like an engaging circus toy

That dangles happily over my shoulder as we walk.

There are whole shoe boxes of crisp, lady’s notecards,  

And I take the five inscribed with bright, raised ladybugs,
Their paper gracefully aged from crisp white to golden pearl.

I tuck a fawn copy of Shakespeare under my arm and draw the line

At the little wooden doggy who follows us down the sidewalk on a string,                       His coiled, spring tail bobbing cheerfully as he goes.

Have a little gander at the other Poetry Friday participants over at The Drift Record and feel free to add a link to your own if you've a mind.

Related articles

• Sophie & Isaac's Eclectic Minimal Home House Tour (apartmenttherapy.com)
• Jam's Guide to Estate Sales! (weddingbee.com)

Is This Our House?

This could possibly be the place. We'll have to see. We spent our date night tonight, touring the house one more time together and talking, talking, talking about all the options and cons and pros and possibilities. We're now considering putting in an offer. I expect we'll decide to do something one direction or another before we leave on Friday for our week in California.

What's it got going for it?

• Its old (built in 1920) but not so old that it makes A cringe
• It has stone, wood and stucco materials (all of which make us happy)
• Its in a pretty neighborhood
• Its a great commuter house
• It has a back garden and comes with lots of cool flowers tucked here and there (hydrangea, roses, lilacs, irises, lily-of-the-valley, sedum, peonies...etc.etc.)
• It has a clothesline!
• Slate roof (makes my heart go pitter-pat)
• Is in the same town as Nutmeg and our babysitter
• Walking distance to the grocery, Starbucks, the library, the post office, area parks, and lots more
• Nice wide sidewalks for family rambles in the evening
• Sun and shade for gardening
• Two car garage
• Full basement
• 5 bedrooms and 4 baths
• A full apartment on the top story with separate entry and a lovely quiet tenant who wants to stay (we're checking out the legality of the arrangement)
• A paved drive
• Nice neighbors
• Lots of windows and light
• Two fireplaces
• Hardwood floors
• A pantry

The surprises? Its in the city. I never imagined I'd be seriously considering an urban house but its far more alluring than I thought it would be. The yard is only a third of an acre, not the half an acre I imagined would be our bottom line. We'll see how it all falls out but, at this point it looks like we may try to throw a low-ball offer and see what the owners do. If we can swing it at that price we'll be getting a steal with lots of lovely bonuses (as you can see from the above "short version" of the list).

We will have to see how sleeping on it feels tonight. Pray, advise and throw your two cents our way! What do you think?