"She refused to be bored, chiefly because she wasn't boring." Zelda Fitzgerald

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Moving Guilt

Well, I've decided to absolve myself of the guilt I have over hiring movers to pack and move us. And get rid of the ridiculous notion that I'll pack as much as I can myself before they arrive. Hah. We're having company right beforehand, we are helping our church with Vacation Bible School and then there's the part about how I have three children and I would be doing all the packing solo. Right.

So, I have now decided that my attention will go to purging and organizing our goods before the men with rolls of packing tape pull up instead. I did a good bit today, there's a whole new box of things all ready for Goodwill and I started putting like items together to facilitate logical packing. (all the towels in the house upstairs in the bathroom, all the coats in the coat closet, all the shoes in bedrooms etc.) I realize there's a lot more to do there but, I'm trying to even let myself off the hook there and believe that what matters will get done and we'll survive if ridiculous things get packed in absurd order and we arrive at our new house all topsy turvy.

Does anyone else get all thigh-deep in false guilt all the time? I wonder if its a feature of my personality or just a very innate human tendency that has beating myself over the head with a board like those silly monks from Monty Python. Anyone else? Dude, that is so me.

I think about this whenever I find myself all torn to bits over some ridiculous something and then I look in the mirror, see my tear-stained face, realize its three a.m. and think, "What am I doing? This is totally silly, I shouldn't feel bad about this, it doesn't matter at all!"

Well, sort of...maybe its not quite that dramatic but, I do have the self-confrontation moments when suddenly it is all very clear and also very silly and I resolve to get off the bandwagon. And then...there I am again. The only answer I have found is to let it go when I see that I'm absurdly over-activating my conscience. Let's spend a little time on the things that we really are doing that are wrong. Heaven knows there are enough of them without carrying around a few extra bricks because I use the wrong detergent, don't know my times tables by heart, talked to my sister on the phone for over and hour the other day or hid in the kitchen to eat some candy etc. etc. Why am I so compelled???

Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Time to let go.


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