Wearing Two Hats At Once

This week I playing professional mommy and home mommy at once. I'll be in San Francisco for two whole days for a training conference for a homeschool public speaking gig that I started last summer. I am super stoked and enjoying the whole adventure of an outlet, a chance to put on a little polish and step into some different shoes. Its also so incredibly empowering to go have get-togethers with organizer go-getters who have all self-selected into a room full of energy driven, life loving, spur each other on power. I love the buzz in the room. I love that no question is too wordy or obscure or intellectual. I love that everyone wants to be there and is invested. Also, nobody follows me into my bathroom stall or puts Legos on my plate while I am eating, which is kind of novel and fantastic. I was even thinking happily of the 5 hours I will spend commuting back and forth (I am driving back and forth in the mornings and evenings) and realizing that I in no way dread that time either. I have audio books, sisters to call, mental space that is just waiting for me and all of that time will be a gift.

I was talking to another mom today and mulling over why in the world I would be making the crazy choice to drive back and forth when there will be hotel accommodations provided. It sounds massively inefficient and kind of illogical at surface value but, as a mama I have to say that it seems quite worth it to drive all that way so that I can tuck my kids in at night after they have been playing their friend's house all day. Its worth it to be able to kiss them goodbye in the morning and zip their hoodies myself, after I put all their yogurt dishes in the sink. Even a tiny amount of contact and continuity will carry us and will keep the kids feeling loved and seen in a small measure. I have also learned that I need all the hugs that we share, I need to be with my husband when he gets home from work and to savor the delicious letdown of the quiet house and slipping into bed together for a little pillow talk before sleep. It feels good to be known and seen and connected to those who love you. I also love little things like watering my own houseplants, making space to be barefoot in the backyard for five minutes alone, and putting a roast in the oven for dinner later that night.

 I am also imagining that contact with my normal life and with my kids will keep me grounded in my training. I have a tendency to live utterly in what I am currently learning....in good and bad ways. I see all the trees and forget the forest even exists. I get excited about the ideas and plans I am learning and don't keep planning, home life and self-care in the viewfinder, I also get overwhelmed and intimidated by the grandness of what I encountering and have trouble chunking, right-sizing and staying in the moment. Kids are amazing at keeping you right where you have to be. You learn to spend far more time than you would ever imagine sitting patiently waiting for a shoe to be tied, you learn how very many steps there are to washing hands and how easy it is to forget any of the parts and you learn exactly how pungent a hug is and very much it matters when you make eye contact with an earnest question. These things keep me learning, they keep me stable and they keep me tethered. Its not all some kind of delirious dulcet cocktail though, sometimes these are bitter lessons that I grind through...remembering with some embarrassment and a bit of honest failure exactly where I am. Lest I get to grandiose about my speaker self, the boys and my husband are there with needs like runny noses and fresh underwear to keep me realizing that no matter what intellectual things I offer or achieve, I have to keep myself strung into the action of community and connection, even in the small humble ways and build my character alongside my brain. So here we go!
Speaker Me + Homemaker Me = Real Me

House Quirks

As far as I am concerned, an old house isn't worth diddly unless it has quirks. The more mysterious, humorous or confusing the better. Nothing enhances the idea of a place having a story more than a few unexplained bits and bobs.

Here's a tour of some of the things that make me scratch my head and wish the walls could talk around our "new" abode. If you can solve any of the mysteries, please speak out! I'd love to know whatever I can.

Whaddya think this doohickey is on the outside wall of the kitchen|? It's maybe a foot square or so.

Here's a little peek under a window sill where people re-paint less carefully. You can see at least the last two layers of paint the house wore before the current, white trim color. There used to be a lot of that mint green color all over, inside and out...all the trim.

There are two of these big "there once was tape on the wall" gummy residue x's in the master bedroom. Wonder why.

I am also curious about these little burn marks in the upstairs wood floor. They look the same size and shape as the radiator feet except they are in the middle of the room which doesn't make a lot of sense.

I have deciphered that this nubbin in the top of the kitchen door-frame means that there used to be a swinging door there.

What do you think this is? It has a little lever on the side there that can move up and down. The whole box is maybe four inches by three inches or so.

I'd guess smoke detector except it is older than one ought to be and has been painted over several times...now quite melded to the wall.

And that concludes our tour of the first round of "House Quirks." Thank you for joining us, please tune in next time to see a strange hole in the floor, a little button on the wall and an antique bottle from the basement.