12 Years Old, Ru's Taste

Yesterday my oldest son stepped to the brink of coming-of-age and turned 12. I can hardly believe we are here, teetering on the edge of the teen years. Its both refreshing and a little demoralizing to realize that here, in tween land I feel not a whole lot more grave, impressive or wise than I did when I first started parenting. I know a lot more than I did when I first started trying to be a mama to this boy who was handed to my unripened and eager self but most of what I know is how insufficient I am, how much his childhood is about me growing up and how very humbling and human it is to try to be anyone's mother. I am comforted that I am not all jaded or superior and that I am still playing, discovering, laughing-out-loud and even running and climbing trees but I am amazed that at 37 I don't feel very much like I have a corner on anything. I have learned to love parts of parenthood that scared and repulsed me (toddlers who talk back, vomit, and hosting playdates) and I have cherished the pieces that I always knew I would love (the hugs, playing sick nurse, making birthday cakes) and through all of it I am learning so much.

12 years ago, what an exhausting, scary, amazing day

Reuben, one his second day of external life.

 I am figuring out how to be tougher than I knew I was, more vulnerable and open and changeable than I ever have been and man, has this boy blazed the trail in teaching me these things! I don't know how it would have gone if I had started with sweet, little complacent child as my first but I am pretty sure that I wouldn't have learned what I needed. God knew I needed this spitfire of an action figure with a taste for leadership in my life. I needed my world rocked, I needed skateboarding and baseball and graphic novels, to pet more dogs and ride more horses and hear more knock-knock jokes than I could ever have prescribed myself. I am a different woman. I sure love this kid. I love who he is, what he brings to our family and whatever it is he is about to show me about his adolescent make-a-difference, live-an-adventure self.

Here is a little peek into his world, on his second day of being 12 years old.

Reuben Loves:

1. Babies: He's always loved babies but the older he gets the sweeter it is that he hasn't lost his love of holding them, making them smile and knowing just what little things they need. He's a fantastic older cousin and will make a top drawer babysitter someday.
2. Baseball: He's played steadily in Little League for years now, never missing a season and I am amazed to see that he still is wistful over winter when there are no trips down to the ball diamond. He's a sports kid for sure and baseball has been his game, although interestingly he has no real interest in following professional games or players.
3. Greek mythology: He has drawn up his own family trees, read oodles of legends and stories and can tell  you all the details of each of Hercules' labors. This inclination made him great fun as a fellow tourist in Italy. So many stone reliefs were unveiled before our eyes because he recognized the stories.
4. People: He loves groups, laughter, conversation, friends and even strangers. Always has, always will. Card carrying extrovert. 
5. Avocados: He's always loved them but now that we live in California, the land of fresh avocados and can even get them at our farmer's market it seems like a legit part of him. We regularly split on together as a snack...half for him, half for me...although these days Pom in horning in too.
6. Swimming: We are about to gear up to go back to swimming lessons like we did last year before summer. Ru can hardly wait! He regularly needs two or three scoldings to get him out of the water after lesson has finished. He loves to swim, loves water and has great facility as a swimmer too. Fun to watch him learning to dive and perfect the trickier strokes now.
7. Monopoly: This is his favorite board game. We have the original and two other variations and he loves them all with equal fervor. I think this one may be genetic, it was my own mad love as a child too. I may have infected him. 
8. Zinnias: They are always his favorite bouquets at the farmer's market and he plants them every year himself. He can never have just one variety and he's always totally impressed when they bloom. They look good in the packet, but even better in the flesh. He's already got a couple of varieties ready to grow this year. 
9. Audiobooks: We are always listening to at least two together as a family and Ru is always my ready reminder to remember to turn it on during long drives. He's always loved story, hearing, imagining, telling and reading....its in his blood.
10. Mowing the lawn: This has become one of his personal chores over the last year. Its pretty cute to see him relishing the mowing of our teeny little postage stamp of a front yard. He sometimes mows it before it really needs it again just for the joy of the experience. I have just begun to experiment with having him string trim as an extra connected privilege.

Reuben Loathes:

1. Cooked squash: All the varieties get the miss. I have to say, I try to make sure nobody knows in our household but I hated cooked squash as a kid. I eat it some now but I always thought it was so squishy and far too sweet for my liking. Not sure what gets him about the whole family of squashes but he sure does skip them all preferentially. 
2. Editing papers: This is his second year writing papers for me and although he enjoys the craft of putting down his thoughts he really doesn't like editing and drafting the next rounds. I drag him through the process of polishing the piece and adding the next layer each time, he'd much rather just bang out the story and be done, fussy he is not. 
3. Star Trek: We showed the boys the Star Wars movies this year and so we thought as a compliment it might be fun to experience a little Star Trek too. Nope. Nope. Nope. We showed Ru the first episode and it freaked him out so much that he can't even calm his skeeves down enough to consider discussing the show. Way too scary. Ooops.
4. Origami: His younger brother's maddest passion completely drives Ru bonkers. He can never stick with the pattern long enough to get all the folds right or crease the corners evenly and he doesn't really care to. We are all given things we love, precisely folding paper is not one of his loves. 
5. Saving money: He loves making money, he loves spending money, he doesn't really enjoy or value saving money. Hopefully, this will come with time but at least we don't need to worry about any miserly tendencies! 
6. Home days with no exciting plans: His least favorite days are the days when we have nowhere to rush off to and nobody coming over. Homebody he is not. 
7. Snakes: Something about moving Out West to the land of genuine rattle snakes has made him very nervous about the whole family. Of course, a few tweeking younger brothers have exploited his aversion and perhaps deepened it with their repeated surprising faux rattle sounds on hikes.
8. Wearing a helmet: He loves to ride his new bike and still enjoys skateboarding along with playing on his new ripstick he got for his birthday but he hates wearing a helmet. He is a devil-may-care child and doesn't see the point of a lot of fuss so we have to be vigilant for him and keep on the reminders. He also runs warm and I'm sure a helmet doesn't help keep him already toasty temp down.
9. Early bedtimes: He loves to stay up late and has no natural inclination to sleep and going to sleep early because of some scheduled need drives him batty. He'd rather flip back and forth in bed for an hour than actually go to sleep early! Total waste of time.
10. Scary movies: He still really doesn't like scary films although he is slowly easing away from his previous jumpy relationship with any plot tension. I am not much for encouraging scary movies anyhow to I feel like his tenderheartedness can just stay right exactly as it is and I won't mind at all.

End Of Summer Notes

We are going tubing down a river tomorrow morning and I should be in bed by now so that I will be awake bright and early to make everyone omelettes before we leave. (Boys who go places with no food are not boys you want to go places with.) Instead of sleeping, I am up folding laundry, contemplating the moving away of one more friend, obsessing about my homeschool plans and trying to decide how to wedge in one teeny stay in a rustic cabin in the mountains before the holidays. So many things going on and suddenly it feels like everything is speeding right up.

I told Ru and Nib that they could both sign up for fall baseball since we skipped out on the regular spring season. Argh! I am such a lazy mama....I don't wanna do it! I have the hardest time convincing myself to be ambitious enough to arrange friend play times and classes or activities of any kind. Nib has incessantly nagged me all summer long to take him fishing and I only managed to do something about it once when we were in Michigan sleeping 20 feet from my in-laws private dock. Better a little than nothing at all. Ha. But, seriously....I think I need to just take myself to a local bait shop or a pier and let some old men school me on how to catch the local fish and how in the world to fix up the fishing rods I have but have not in proper order. I am considering one of those cushy trout ponds for a personal boost as a beginning.

In all seriousness, I do want to have and to show ambition. I am not interested in avoiding all work and having my kids end up resentfully annoyed at their own inability to participate in anything because I dragged my feet for all eternity. I am however, loath to sign up for baseball. I love watching how they learn from coaches and build friendships on the team but I truly hate rushing off to practices and having our whole life filled with practice and games.

 So far, I have still not received a note about Little League starting up for fall season.....so who can say. We must not butcher our chickens before they're hatched.

I have been harvesting the little volunteer Sungolds in our garden for the past couple of weeks. I was a little nervous to see what would appear when they began fruiting since I know Sungold is a modern hybrid and not very inclined to end up true to kind. I have been very surprised by satisfied by how very like its parent this tomato has appeared. I have the same juicy, sweet/tart little golden marble fruits and have been merrily filling a folded over pouch in my shirt with them pretty much anytime I find myself lingering in the yard. I have also been picking arugula, some tender second and third flush broccoli and our first very late crop of peas. The peas never seem to make it inside to the house, the kids like them too much. I'm all for healthy snacking however, so there's not much fuss to make over the issue.

The boys and I are working more on nature journalling and have been pulling out our paints to sketch things up a little from time to time. I am still trying to use our journals for a chance to record and research new species to us since moving Out West. Speaking of new species to us...we recently revisited the trees I noticed this spring when they were blooming. I thought they were maybe apricots or peaches but this time of year I could clearly see that they are almond trees. So amazing to discover that there are so many exotic nut trees scattered around. I sometimes feel like I know a lot about plants and animals and that outdoors and that I can feel confident in my knowledge. And then I think about things and realize that I am still humblingly unknowing in many ways and make absurd sounding rooky guesses. I only just realized this spring that the leaves of apricot trees look nothing like peach tree leaves and that I had been walking right past them all my life and not noticing. And then, there's the almonds-look-nothing-like-other-nuts-they-look-like-peaches foul up that I made in trying to learn what was along the highways. I can't believe how much there still is to notice and know and understand....even about the common things. One new fun tool I have been playing with as I learn is the app iNaturalist. Its actually kind of amazing. You take a picture, it notes your location via gps and then identifies your find. Super empowering. The boys love it. We end up running around at parks snapping pictures of things I would normally just shrug at.

Summer isn't quite over yet, even though school is starting next week so I am looking forward to a few more beach days, a little blackberry picking, a pie or two, a rodeo and a music festival. Autumn will come in its time but I'm not quite ready. 

Radios and Summer Days

We are slowly filtering our way out of school and text books and our educational season groups and commitments...its kind of down to baseball and outdoor play, church and the Farmer's Market suddenly. I love this time of year. How can you not? The air smells like jasmine and honeysuckle, every afternoon is sunny and every evening falls gently with grills firing up all around the neighborhood. The little boy from two doors down has begun popping by for driveway games of scooter chase and basketball and Ru has learned to run the lawnmower himself and is keeping the air humming with the rattle of the engine and the bright scent of fresh cut grass.

 I am starting to hunt around again for something for Dee to be part of on his own. He enjoyed a Rainbow Loom group over the winter and now that Ru's baseball team is blasting their way through the Tournament of Champions, its clearly time for him to have a little more of his own time to shine. I have considered a chess group which he enjoys, golf or tennis which he's said he'd be interested in and I know that in Connecticut he really loved a marine ecology course for kids with lots of hands on sampling and equipment use. Sure would be fun to leverage the ocean again since we're near another one now and summer feels like the time to be at the shore. Tricky stuff trying to give each kid their turn in the sun without being indulgent or pushy!

 I sure have enjoyed being Team Mom for Ru's baseball team this season. Its been less work than I feared a lot more rewarding than I hoped which is a pretty fabulous equation. I continue to really be impressed with the camaraderie, the generosity of the coaches and the quality of the families involved. Baseball might be in our life for a while.

 Nib has asked me to give him cooking lessons over the summer. He told me very earnestly that he'd like to learn to cook and that he's concerned that the only thing he knows how to cook now is microwaved hot chocolate. I tried to reassure him that at 6 he's doing fine with that "recipe" as his starting point but he wouldn't be placated. He asked if he could please have instruction in cooking: (his list)

1. Asparagus
2. Cakes
3. Lemonade
4. S'mores

I think its going to be a delicious summer. I plan to actualize on all of the above. Look out camping....we will have private lessons on s'more cookery before we hit the campsite we registered for in August!

I am journaling in the morning and in the evening right now with the newly discovered The Five Minute Journal which, one week in has made a big boosting lift in my energy and productivity as well as mood. What a great resource! I think I found it through Tim Ferriss. I am having a huge Tim Ferriss fan-girl stage. I read a couple of his books awhile ago and enjoyed them but have recently discovered his podcast which is a great way to start my day in the kitchen alone after breakfast when A is working on math lessons with the big kids and the little kids are playing. As much as I love podcasts (also check out Magic Lessons by Elisabeth Gilbert if looking for great listening material), I also really, really want a radio in the house and in the car. Sometimes you just wanna turn on some background tunes! We have been trying to have a streaming audio system in the house but it isn't the same and also isn't reliable about coming in steadily and our car's audio system had to be ripped out recently because it was installed wrong or was faulty or something and it was draining our battery. No more audio books for my while driving about to appointments. Now there is just a rectangular, empty socket on the dash staring at me as I navigate through kid appointments and traffic and try to deep breath without distraction when kids are having meltdowns. Ah, self-reliance....you are lovely....but so is a radio! I miss it. Must wire my life back up again.

April Buzz

We are having warmer days all the time now...gardening happens, laundry keeps getting behind. We are putting seeds and plants in the garden and lingering and lingering to weed them. Lots of lazy outdoor homeschool reading and math in the sunshine. Then we keep having an occasional short sprinkle and all the locals warn me to get ready, because now it will be the last rain and get dry out. Interesting climate and such a different kind of weather. I feel like I did all winter. I have no idea what to expect or what anything indicates. Normal is a setting on the dryer. This is one way to get that effect.

Went driving out to farms today, maybe the first time I have really done that in an exploratory and rambly way since we moved here. Its time to find a farm to get eggs at and maybe milk although I am exploring taking them out of the diet of some of us in the family...sad day at face value, but greater health and happiness is the worthy goal.

I am really enjoying being the Team Mom for Ru's baseball team. Little League is a community that I really appreciate and feel safe in, so much lack of pretension and warm welcome for people of all levels. Its been a great way to boost my confidence with management tasks (eep! Reminder emails!) and get to know lots of people. I know who is charge of snacks and several coaches, I know who to call when you lose papers and where the meetings all are held. Being on the ins is a great way to feel more comfortable. Its always so exciting to meet more of our neighbors via playing on a team together and this time is no exception. So many people we could walk to hang out with...you know....if I was feeling brave enough to invite them over to play. EEP! Must keep being brave.

The fruit in our area is starting to ripen, strawberries are up and I am dying to do a big pick so that I can sock some strawberry jam and frozen fruit in the freezer. Am also dreaming of Paleo shortcake.... The cherries are going to start in the first week of May and then we'll be all into the plums and the apricots and so on....can't wait. Am hoping to do some serious canning this year. There will be tomato sauce making at my house (Holla if you want in!) and I want to do peaches, maybe pears and some applesauce too. The first year after a break in the canning schedule is always overly optimistic. Heh.

Nib just lost one of his great big front teeth this morning, which is really cute. I was pretty pleased when it came out to see how bright and clean and solid it was. I am slowly but surely cleaning up our diet. Especially my last two children are made out of darn strong nutrient, dense ingredients. Mama finally got her ducks in a row! Ru is wiggling out his first really large molar after a long break in the tooth losing regime. His adult tooth is coming out eagerly through the side of his gum above it! Pretty wild. MUST REMEMBER TOOTH FAIRY DUTY TONIGHT!!!

Gardens and Baseball and Church

Today, we put the vegetable garden in. There are radishes and spinach and kale and all manner of other good things, actually planted in the ground of a whole new plot, in a whole new yard, in a whole new state. I feel like I live here.  Sort of.

Its amazing how long it takes to really feel like you "belong" somewhere. We continue to hunt and search for a church that will be just right for us. We like to take weekend adventures and sometimes we have normal conflicts like baseball tryouts and illness which slows down that process of church shopping immensely. We've been here for six months already and we had a top pick that we thought we'd decided on but its a lot harder to get over there than we thought (its a couple of towns over) and then we also have been unsure if the vibe is exactly right for us. Picking a church, as a non-Catholic is so much tricky, factor weighing!! Sheesh. Lucky Catholics.

This week the weather is hitting the 70's, the hills are unbelievably green and we are really revving up into true baseball season. I am the team mom this year, an exciting responsibility which I am determined to work hard on and make fun and not scary. I am a little worried everyone will discover that I am a weird homeschool mom, not a Californian and also not sporty....don't tell. I plan to give a great charade as "normal."

Tomorrow I begin in earnest to clean out the garage. I must, must unearth it and pare down the number of objects we own...especially the number of pieces of furniture (here's looking at you, old bedroom set!). Smaller and simpler. Cleaner and more open. There is enough. We have enough. Time to cull. I am dreaming about what I will do with the space in there. Pinterest board brewing with ideas for artist studio/guest space. Buy your tickets to California now....our little garden guest cottage will be a hot item! Plus, we want to see YOU!

Is It Spring Yet?

Am mulling over bridal shower plans for my little sister, wondering when people around here think spring has come, trying to understand exercise psychology and considering designing a tattoo. So many things to think about. I am not sure whether to try to rally the boys for treks to see the elephant seals mating and birthing, the cranes nesting or the newts wriggling around in the winter (spring?) rains in amorous little herds. I'm puzzled by all the folks around here who don't seem to notice seasons or change in The Bay. I think its a downright kaleidoscope.

I am also making headway on the Friend Acquisition Project, finding lots of cool people both kids and mamas that qualify as candidates and also doing the hardest bit: contacting them and scheduling time together. EEP! I am the worst at that. I am really feeling proud though, I am being brave and assertive and friendly and organized and energetic and even though I am NEVER caught up on the dishes (no dishwasher at the new place) I am on the ramp to friendship. I am even finding little friends for the boys.

And on Sunday....Little League tryouts! I can't wait to be back in the bleachers again! Baseball moms are good friend material and that California tan is calling me.

An American Pastime

Summer is here! We hit 90 degrees today and I watered the veggie garden twice to keep it from wilting. There is iced tea on tap and weekly watermelon purchasing happening to boot. All of spring has gone except for the dogwood blossoms which are lingering with extra vigor this year. Even my roses have finished blooming and now the garden is all lilies and daisies and anytime soon now the purple coneflower will join in.

Our first "extracurricular" type activity has just ended as baseball wrapped up this past week. So much fun sitting on the mini-bleachers with the other moms through blazing sun and even a little rain and watching smash hits and foul balls alike as our boys learned the basics of the game together.

 I never expected to feel so very fond of a sport but Little League has my heart. So much of it has to do with Ru's intense love for the game...any game really, but he sure latched on to baseball. He loved learning from the neighborhood dads who coach, loved the hard work of studying stances and getting the particulars of procedures nailed down, and he felt so incredibly spiffy and official in a real, live uniform.

 I just put the pants and socks in the Goodwill bag but he's keeping his jersey in his sentimental box and still wearing his team cap around the house. I wonder if it will the first of many uniforms I stain treat over the years. I think we are headed to the sports department for good, this one is an athlete.