Night Walk

I keep going out for evening walks to wind down and let go of the day, not be present while A does bedtime and tick off the rest of my Fitbit steps for the day. 10,000 is surprisingly hard to hit if you don't go for a hike on long rambling trails in the woods.

The whole neighborhood is quiet and resting after dinnertime. The sky is a glowing sherbet and highlights the silhouettes of palm trees and Victorian houses. There are sometimes people quietly giving the lawn one last drink or solitary dog walkers but most of the walk is a stroll through abandoned streets. All the homes are luminaries with little scenes or television viewers, armchair readers and lemon light through lace curtains. The cherry plums have dropped their sweet fruits all over the sidewalks in some places and they polka-dot the cement with splat marks and pits. The smell of jasmine swirls past me sometimes, and the heavy sweet of datura putting out their evening burst of smell.

The magnolias leaves shine in the streetlights as I walk second half of the walk, towards home. I walk luxuriantly slow crossing streets because there are no cars in any direction, you can see down and down and down the street, intersections melting into themselves at the vanishing point. It could be a fantastic stage for an impromptu dance performance, all those streetlights and the big open stage with the yellow lines shining down the center. When I come home I always remember that I've forgotten my keys and my very logical husband has locked the front door so I have to call to him quietly through the screen of the office window to be let back into my little luminary. Everything feels softer and warmer back home again, all the little things that make up our cozy life: the turquoise tea kettle, our shelves of books, the confetti of Lego on the floor. The boys aren't asleep but they're in their beds and the light is out, and that's good enough for us. Time to return to my mate and my nest and my lists and remind myself to make the bed up tomorrow as I quietly wash up the supper dishes.

A Fit Family

 Spring is a time of kicking butt! I'm learning again, in a new way, how to find my inner fit chick, strong woman, inspirational overcomer and hometown approachable athlete. I am working out! Daily! Craziness, right? Once in a while my workout ends up being raking or shoveling compost or chasing my kids around on the playground and occasionally over the past couple of weeks I have missed my workout but I just get back on the train. I'm working on letting go of the guilt and being more and more of my own cheerleader when I mess-up, feel weak, procrastinate or don't hit my goals. Most of my issues are in my own mind.

 I haven't been blogging so much this week because I have been working so fixedly on switching my mindset on fitness. I'm determined to develop strength, to learn to love moving, to be proud of my muscles and work ethic and to create a lifestyle of activity instead of intimidation and sloth. I'm over making fun of the girls who run and over being a household of couch potato experts. My boys are normal kids and like to run around so there's hope. I added "Workout" to the daily routine for every single family member. Today was the first day that the boys did their chores, their morning routine, their school work  AND each did a workout. The tide is turning.

 The weather is warming and its starting to be lovely to be outside sometimes, and almost never wretched outdoors. I am feeling proud of what I am eating, tracking my water (a first for me!), following a couple of workout apps (I'll share which ones soon!), wearing my FitBit and targeting 10,000 steps a day and working diligently on rising and going to sleep at a decent time. The world is looking up, and I am starting to get biceps! Yay!

 The boys are mostly excited and sometimes slightly intimidated by the new things their crazy mommy is doing. I'm feeling the same way. Sometimes I feel kick butt and sometimes I feel ridiculous and out of shape, but I always feel righteously like what I am bringing into the home right now is something I am very proud of. I want to normalize activity, strength and physical caretaking of ourselves, eating well is good but we need to use these machines we are caring for!

Happy Spring from our newly active household to yours! I can't wait until I can do 12 push-ups in a row, I'm gonna be the change!

Fit and Fitter....But come on, Spring!

 I am turning over one of those new leaves that I keep trying to flip. I have a new app that I am using that's like an electronic personal trainer...complete with timer and encouraging comments. (BodyBot) that I am using daily to try to get into shape. My lack of muscle and tone is alarming me. I'm managing to to stay fairly thin an dam happy about how changing my eating has almost eliminated struggles with weight but I would like to see a little more vibrant strength in my body.

I have also suddenly become kind of addicted to my FitBit which is an electronic step-counter/sleep  monitor that I wear on my wrist in bracelet form. I'm part of a online group who work together for daily and weekly challenges, trying to hit our step-count targets. I am trying to hit 10,000 steps every day. Eventually in the future I will try to up my active minutes or cultivate some amount of "active" time but for now, just trying to hit my step goal is a lofty target. Most days I do it if I think about it. Having the accountability of a group is crucial to me. I'm much cheered by warm connectivity.

 I am also much shamed by what others already know how to do and how embarrassed I feel to be incompetent which is why gyms are such a total loss with me. Somehow I find yoga studios to be a much warmer environment but then....I'm also naturally flexible and not naturally strong or endurant. Heh. We all have our high points. I want to work with what I'm good at but not box myself in there and eliminate the hard learning that will push my edges. Its really hard as an adult to cultivate that kind of living. It seems like everyone around me is doing what they are good at and nothing else. Tricky!

 Its still so cold out, sometimes blusteringly windy and occasionally even snowy. The north side of the house still has snow and ice on the ground for sure. We are however, technically past the wintertime and into a section of days that legally belongs to spring. The snowdrops are blooming and sometime soon there will be crocus and daffodil. I think its Pitch The Snowflakes time!

We had our first spring grill out this afternoon at my aunt's house when we visited and it was incredible to stand outdoors on the patio and have the smoke blow in my face while the sun beamed down and a red-winged blackbird cheered from the marsh beyond us. I'm so ready for warmer weather that I can't even describe it. I feel incredibly delicate emotionally about the winter and the chill and am hanging on somewhat desperately.

I just got off the phone with my cousin who moved this past summer from Southern California to Michigan. I don't know if I am quite as desperate for spring as he is. That's intense.