Spotlight on Dee!

Time to slow down for a minute, in the middle of all the baseball and spring holidays and gorgeous weather and garden days and just look at this second son of mine. Its all too easy to get revving right up like crazy and just survive parenthood. (we all do it, its necessary) Every once in a while we need to take little ordained appointments with ourselves to notice our lives. This is my "Notice Dee" pause button session. Time to take a deep breath and be present with who he is.

Suddenly, I feel like this boy is stretching out and getting all long-legged. I can tell his face is changing too and he's relaxing into his big boy role now. Its cool to see him learning to deal more amiably with pressure and anxiety and figure out how to confidently set boundaries for himself and make choices that can allow him to feel emotionally safe. For instance, he still occasionally has migraine type headaches from junk food but he now refuses proffered foods that he knows will make him feel like crap or limits how much he eats and voluntarily puts the rest away for later or just pitches it. Its great to learn that kind of confidence. So much else emerging for him right now too...

Dee Loves

1. Shadow play. This is one of his latest obsessions....the high bleachers at baseball practices are one of his favorite stages for shadow casting. His favorite thing to do is to make his own shadow into things just but changing his body position or holding things that can change the shape of the shadow he throws. He's pretty brilliant at it. He can make himself look like a weight lifter, a roman column and Darth Vader using nothing but a spare sweatshirt and his own body.

2. Scootering in the backyard. We have a pair of little Razor scooters for the boys to share and Dee loves to ride one or BOTH of them. He works on tricks a lot lately which kind of new for him. Usually Ru or Nib are hot dogging all over. Its a mind game for him though, he is less of the crash and burn type and more about clever engineering mixed with whimiscal jokes. My favorite at the moment is when he rides two scooters at once!

3. Wearing his pajama top in the daytime. He thinks its a very clever joke on his Mommy and the height of efficiency to go chance just his pajama pants when told to get dressed in the morning. Its amazing what a mother won't notice when her boy shows up to the table dressed in jeans and tennis shoes, with his teeth all brushed and his bed made. Keep your eyes open...I bet you catch him doing it.

4.What-If questions. He loves to ask me which kind of imaginary vehicle would go faster, what would happen if a volcano blew up on the moon and what I think would be the hardest thing to get in through a keyhole. Lots of these kinds of questions while we are driving places in the car. Love hearing that little mind a whirling.

5. Braiding. He asked me one day how I braid my hair and so I showed him on three strands of grass. Now its a frequent activity....sometimes he braids my hair and sometimes he braids other things: ribbons, plant stems, cords or even seaweed.

6. Pokemon. He and Ru play Pokemon pretend games and battles almost perpetually around the house and he is the master at sound effects, always making all the sounds for each character in an astounding variety of sound registers and voices. He is also the walking encyclopedia of Pokemon factoids. Ru always consults him to answer questions like "What color is Digalit?" "Tell me one the strongest attacks that Slo-King has?" He has an incredible memory for a the data and is very pleased to be consulted like a kind of personal reference librarian.

Dee Loathes

1. Doing Things Without Mastery. He has the hardest time being an early learner at any subject and really feels frustrated and easily like he is being made a fool of, simply because he isn't demonstrating high skill at any given task. He prefers to say he "doesn't know how" so that he can fly under the radar while he practices, only admitting that he can when he feels really confident and smooth. This is tricky in school.

2.Taking a bath. Never much for bathing, he still hates it. He doesn't scream through bathtime like he did when he was a baby but he sure does grumble and gripe about the suggestion that he take one. Once in the tub he loathes the soap getting in his eyes and the being chilly when you come out of the bath, having water in his ears and countless other little physical irritations and inconveniences about the whole process. So many reasons to never get clean.

3. Mushrooms. I don't know where he gets it. Mushrooms are one of God's best inventions, if you ask me...but my boy isn't of the same opinion. Even if I mince them and mix them into a mixture and cook them, he'll often discover they are there and make sure I know that he doesn't approve.

4. Math homework. I don't know if its the fact that A (who teaches math at our house) keeps a strict progress schedule and makes it clear when his students are "behind" and insists that they get no weekends off in such a status, or if its just the subject matter itself that get Dee's goat. Whatever it is, almost nothing gets under his skin and makes him melt down more spectacularly. Its very tough for me because I see so much of myself in him. I have a hard time listening and watching and remember, "This is NOT my emergency, its his." because I was so frustrated by math for so much of my young learning years. Weird how empathy can be a stumbling block sometimes.

5. Being ordered along on hikes. Dee hates most forms of being ordered around, he's the independent sorts (fits right in at our house...we are a house of clashingly independent thinkers and strong wills) and he doesn't hate hikes themselves or the outdoors which is one of his favorite retreats and play spaces. But he really does hate being told that he'll be going hiking with the family at such and such a time in so and so many minutes though. "Go get your shoes on, we're going for a walk soon and yes, you have to come." is pretty much always certain to put him in a bad mood. No choices, forced forward walking, ordered time in nature with a strict schedule....all his buttons.

6. Being asked about his eye. Remember this post?  This doesn't embarrass or infuriate him like it used to but does annoy him. He gets asked all the time if he's okay and "What happened to his eye??" and told that his eye looks funny and it gets old. Its hard for a kid who lives with some little visual difference to understand why its so broken-record-fascinating to everyone around him. He feels like, "Big deal! My eye! Who cares! I don't wanna explain again." If you're a new California friend who wonders why his eyes looks different, ask me for the story on the side, out of ear shot.

Pom Today

Today I am writing about my smallest son, Pom. He looks like he's a baby but he's just short. We freak people out on the playground EVERY SINGLE TIME when he goes down the slide alone. He's 22 lbs and nobody but nobody expects him to actually be two years old, talking up a storm and jumping off things, running at full speed and trying hard to figure out the world. So much fun to watch him emerge.

Pom Likes...

1.Elephants: Which he confidently pronounces "el-fa-dent." Not sure why....maybe purely because they have a euphonious name. We bring elephant books home from the library every week.
2.Pretend Conversation With Stuffed Animals: He loves to have me play ventriloquist and make his animals all talk to him. Its his favorite kind of personal therapy when he's miffed and won't tell us what's wrong. He'll tell his stuffed turtle....no problem. He sleeps with about four stuffed animals every night and has recently become attached to a backpack that has a stuffed animal caterpillar head
3.Reading Storybooks Together: He follows us around the house asking for story time, many mornings, since he's an early riser, he'll run in to our bedroom with a book and manage to squeeze a quick one in with Daddy before dressing time. He loves Winnie-the-Pooh, Llama Llama Red Pajama and this horrible, chintzy action figure story for early readers that features five superheros portrayed in chubby cheeked kiddie form. Classic right? Isn't that the one they always adore? Which brings me to....
4.Superman: Which is his favorite superhero and then what he ends up reverting to and calling ALL superheros. Its even better because he pronounces his name, "Super-nan,"
5.Aunt Lockbox: She's his favorite, his best pal and his most admired lady. Sometimes only she can kiss pinched fingers right, read his favorite story or put him down for a nap. He is always thrilled when she comes home from work and usually runs to her to hug her knees while yelling her name happily.
6.Butter: You have to keep a tight reign on the butter dish when he's around...he'll literally take a spoon to it if you turn your back. If that freaks you out then take Julia Child's advice: "If you are afraid of butter, use cream." Pom would approve. He also adores cream.
7.Music and Singing: His most favorite at the moment is to have me sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to him....randomly, whenever he thinks of it. He also grooves down to music wherever it shows up: the grocery store, church, electronic toys, advertisements.
8.Saying, "Yes Sir!" To People: He says it all the time....to women, kids, men...whomever...sometimes inserting it into conversation, as in: "I put the books into the box, yes sir, and they are in there waiting to be founded." He also uses it as a super enthusiastic way to say yes though. Cute man.
9.Nose Rubbing Kisses: He loves them and sometimes will grab my face with his two hands and physically capture my attention so that we can nose rub happily. Its his favorite.
10. Having His Picture Taken: We try to take a walk once a day and he loves to pose at periodic points and refuse to progress unless I take his picture. So funny.

Pom Hates....

1.Having His Hair Washed: Screams himself silly, no matter how I do it. No winning. He's been studying under Dee.
2.Wearing Shoes In The Car: All shoes and socks get taken off immediately, even if you're in the car for five minutes. He's old school about his foot wear. Nothing, bare feet always. Wonder if cold weather will help him stop doing this so quickly.
3.Going Inside: He's an outdoor kind of guy and loves to go out early and stay out as long as he can...whatever the weather. I hate that he knows how to open the front door now but I love that out is where he wants to be.
4. Having His Honey Mixed Into His Yogurt: You must never stir. It has to lay in a golden pool on the top of the bowl....he usually does eat all the plain yogurt on the bottom so I'm fine with it. We all have our quirks.
5.Dogs Jumping On Him: I mean, nobody really loves that...tackling is not actually a good form of greeting. Pom, however, really flips out. He'll practically hyperventilate. Elephants he's into but dogs make him really nervous, although they're growing on him.
6.The Tiny Nubbin Tail On Sausages: He screams and yells and bangs his plate and refuses to even sit down in his chair properly unless its carefully trimmed off with a knife....AND removed from his plate. At first I couldn't figure out what in the world was wrong and he didn't know the name for the offending detail...heck! I don't know the name either. Sausage tail is not an official term.
7. Fireworks, Car Alarms, Smoke Detectors And Other Sudden Loud Noises: He climbs up our faces and wants to sit on our left ears all night if somebody sets off fireworks in the neighborhood, there is a thunderstorm or a local car alarm goes off. I set our car alarm off in the driveway by accident the other day and it was mayhem while I tried to remember how, how, how in the world it is turned off. That was a crazy 20 minutes!
8.Babysitters: Not specific babysitters, just the idea of them....he'll always scream and cry and kick things and tell me angrily, "I cairy!" (which means that he's scared) when the sitter walks up the front steps. Same goes for the church nursery, no matter who is staffing it. Good thing he calms down in a fast five minutes after I leave.
9.Daddy Going To California: He cries more than anyone else at the airport at the start of every California Week, when my husband travels for business and he asks sadly about him during the day quite a lot. When we Skype at bedtime he often bursts into tears when he sees his Daddy's face on the screen.
10. Sitting In His Baby Car Seat: He's dying, dying to be in a booster seat in the car. Its killing him to be buckled up so much more heavily than all his brothers. Sometimes we can appease him if we pull a nearby adult seat belt across the front of his car seat to help him fantasize that he's buckled with it like all of us. Life is unfair. Dream on, kid.

 Its good to pay attention to the details. The little things that emerge. The clues we give each other about what makes us happy and scared and angry. There's no telling what makes everyone tick without tuning in...we are all of us different and charming and curious. Trying to work on loving the exercise of parenting as it teaches me that all of us in this world want to be noticed and require nurturing. Maybe soon I will do a post on my most recent loves and hates....I want to grow and change as much as my children.

So Many Somethings

Pom is in a charmingly, particular stage. He has learned how things "ought" to be and is spending a lot of energy demonstrating that he is on the up and up which means he's become king of specifics. He carries pieces of hair and lint to the trashcan one by one and makes individual trips to the compost bucket with each strand of clementine pith. He is avid about making sure I have my phone and come earnestly chasing me down with it calling, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" all the way into the next room if I have left it next to the armchair in the living room for a minute.

One hilarious variation of his particularity is his Bring It To A Grown-up Game. He finds little things all over the floor and kind of randomly he'll decide that a given little widget is important and will be missed and will bring it earnestly to me. Sometimes I know what it is, (a Lego, a nut, a marble, a tiny pebble) but I'm astonished by how often I am flabbergasted.

How does he find so many strange little somethings? We have a big house and are a bit on the sloppy and disorganized side but man! He makes me think we have a troop of fairies living in the eaves using the house as their playground, leaving little whatnots all over after their midnight games.

Can you identify the following?

Robotic Friend

It was a rough night last night. Too hot to sleep and punctuated by 5,000 child-nightmares so I was bushed and way too grouchy all morning. At naptime I laid down and had a small catch-up and when I came back downstairs Dee showed me what he had been quietly working on with paper, markers and a roll of masking tape.
"He's a sort of friend-robot, Mommy....not really a working kind or a helping kind. He's just a friend."

Pom, A Run-Down

Photo credit to my brilliant sister-in-law Brianna. Camera wizard extraordinaire.

Spent the afternoon locked in a cool room with a window a/c unit purring gently in the background. (Thank you, thank you to my charming aunt who came and helped install it!) We curled up on the boys room on the rug indulgently ignoring the laundry and instead, we read stories, Pom climbed on and off his brothers beds and I Pinterested my little soul to bits. I cleaned house mentally, got three quarters of the way through my current novel and then made a long list of things to take the to dump and things to send to Goodwill. Its almost dinnertime now and I am feeling considerably better than before.

And thus, am thinking about a cheery topic...the encapsulation of Pom as small, interesting person of his own. Here he is, in all his 13 month glory....get to know him.

Pom Loves:

1. Iced coffee. I made the wee mistake of letting him sip a decaf version once on a hot day and now he lunges madly for the cup every time I have one...am in perma-defense mode with cold drink in hand.
2. Watermelon. Pom can go blow for blow with A in contests over his favorite fruit. Its a summertime special.
3. Animals. Dogs and birds are both big hits. He gets nervous and can even be shaky and paranoid around them but he won't be kept away from them either so its a magnetically, nervous pull. He giggles and dives for them, imitating barks or chirps but then does a freaked out/giggly retreat and then repeats the cycle over and over.
4. Water play. He runs for the ocean, isn't afraid of waterfalls, cannot be kept out of a bath and freaks out about being walked past puddles instead of being allowed in post-haste. Love my small mer-man.
5. Singing. He sings along with any voice he hears on the radio, any goofy song his daddy makes up or any tune at church that strikes his fancy. Love it when we are passing street musicians and he starts "singing" along. 
6. "Nakedy Time." Every night before bed when all the other kids are in bed we've developed a little ritual together. We take off his dirty clothes, wash up any muddy smudges and add lotion where needed and then let him have a little roll about on our bed in his birthday suit before dressing him up for the night and tucking him in the cradle. Its his favorite. He chortles and pounces on the pillows, coos and giggles plays peek-a-boo with us and then eventually winds down to snuggling and long sleepy blinking and then we know its bedtime. So sweet. Love it. 
7. Seltzer Water. Ru used to spit it out and his brothers have all had a shudder-and-drool kind of response to bubbly water fizz but not Pom. He guzzles the stuff and begs for more and jockeys to be included anytime some is being drunk near him. He's a baby of culture. 
8. Silkies. The very fastest and most sure fire way to soothe him when he's cranky, help him cope with teething pain (hello molars!) or get him to sleep is to give him one of my slinkiest slips made of a satiny material. He sucks on them, wadding up the material and shoving it in his mouth....and is vastly pleased. 
9. Eating Dirt. I never saw a child more enamoured of eating dirt...and I don't mean just tasting it or sucking on his fingers despite their dirty state, he actually scoops handfuls of dirt or sand into his mouth on purpose and if not caught in time will just swish and swallow very happily. Ugh. 
10. Board Books. He loves to hear a story, maybe its just the rythmic cadence of the sound or maybe he's really comprehending the plot, who knows....he just likes it. He likes to bring books to me and he likes to turn the pages and he loves the lap-time that literary excuses bring.

Pom Distains:

1. Sitting Down In The Highchair. He really is ridiculously insistent about this one. I continue to expect we'll train him out of his persistent desire to stand or climb out on the tray and put his grubby little feet right onto the table. I have taken to spending the meal holding onto one foot and keeping him pulled down in his seat. Please, say he'll give up soon!
2. Being Hot. Don't we all? Pom will be extremely irritable whenever the temperature gets to the sweating zone. He wants to nurse, he doesn't want to, he wants to be held, he'd like to be left alone, he wants to be down and crawl around, he is angry that he has been left alone on the floor to fend for himself...etc.etc.etc. Its a no win. Its just too hot.
3. A, Horning In. He's very attached to me and is quite possessive. We try not to accommodate this one too much but he'd really prefer it if A never kissed me or hugged me or snuggled up with me. I belong to him in his mind and he will fiercely wedge himself in between us if so moved and push and push to get me all cleared off to himself. Silly little dictator.
4. Horses and Cows. He likes dogs although even they make him nervous. Horses and cows were too much. They make him skip the giggling part and go straight to the blind panic climbing up my arms and then my face. Too big, I think.
5. Being Buckled In His Car Seat. He usually sits and drives along pretty happily once we're on the road but he thrashed and wedges himself straight, refusing to bend at the waist when I try to buckle him in. Much screaming ensues. 
6. Being Told, "No" His eyes fill with big crocodile tears and then his face crumples and often he yells back at me "Nah Nah Nah!" and his latest trick is trying to throw punches at me to show how upset he feels at being scolded.
7. Coming Down The Stairs, In Arms. This isn't a major deal anymore but I still notice it from time to time. He startles when being carried down the stairs. I think he feels gravity and has become aware of falling and realizes that the downward momentum feels dangerous and it makes him nervous.
8. Most Vegetables. He eats fruits with impunity, has finally come around on meats and will happily eat a fresh bean or pea from the garden while I do yard work but most things I serve at meals (cooked broccoli, carrot sticks, sauteed greens....etc.) become at best a teething toy and at worst are just rejected outright. 
9. Rain. He loves water and craves swimming and bathing, adores drinking water from a cup and has learned to sign "water" avidly now but water coming down from the sky? Too much. He just gets angry and cries if we ever have to dart through a downpour on our way into a store,
10. Being Left-Out. He's a classic youngest child, always jockying to be included and watching with a shrewd eye to stay up to the minute on the latest happenings. He wails pitifully when the big boys get candy treats and he is forgotten or there are bikes for bigger boys to peddle and he is left out. He's got a real yen to be part of the pack. 

Band-Aid Thief

I am a pretty stern hand with the bandaids at our house. I know its an American expectation that kids be given character bandaids every time they bump their shins. I'm mean. I insist on blood before there be handing out of bandages. Stickers are stickers, bandaids are bandaids. When Nib was in the hospital this past spring I relaxed my rule and let the nurses give him as many bandaids as they wanted to try to cheer him up. Mostly, he's back to my standard procedures but every once in a while I find those little plastic tabs on the floor and wonder where he put the contraband bandaid. I just found one of them. Sweet, sly boy.

One Less Shirt To Wash

You know, there are whole workbooks you can buy these days on developing "scissor skills" for your preschooler to be sure their snipping will be up to social standards. I think we have this particular skill covered in our preschool here at Chez Armstrong as Nib so easily demonstrated here.

Curved lines? No problem. He's got it down. Two years old and he's a crack shot with a pair of snips and Mommy has less laundry too! Forget those chi-chi workbooks. Who needs 'em?

Dee Wonders

Dee asks me most wonderful questions right now. I write them down in my phone when I think of it. And sometimes I re-read the list to make myself smile, to look up the answers later for him when I have a moment and to remind myself to wonder about all the little assumed mysteries in the world. We are so busy sometimes that we adults (and increasingly even our children) don't allow ourselves  to stand agape at the puzzling tiny thoughts and the amazing ideas we encounter all the time.

Here are some of his best zingers, be inspired and listen for your own curious little thoughts.

Dee's Finest Questions

What does a baby's skull look like?
Why do raccoons wash things?
Could we go see people boxing?
How do ice cream trucks fill up?
How hot are fireworks?
What's the highest a person can count to?
What does a cuckoo bird look like?
And when do they usually say cuckoo?
How can Siri be in a phone?
What is orange pulp?
Why don't we hire some day-laborors?
What is snail slime?
What is inside a camera that goes click?

Upright

New this week: Pom is an upright sort of a person! He can sit up for a short period of time and he's sturdy enough to be slung on a hip while standing at the window or stirring dinner. This is a good development...he's getting really heavy! He's also a grab-machine. This afternoon while I was trying to eat lunch and stopped to pour the two year old some water, Pom took the opportunity to grab my fork off my plate and throw it across the table excitedly. Love watching him discover the world. He's high on crinkling paper munching, curtain waving and slobbery kiss-giving right at the moment. Soaking it all in....Happy Weekend Y'all!

Learning How to Wiggle Our Ears

The giant maple tree in our side yard is fruiting out giant, slightly yellowed oyster mushrooms in a ruffled column high up on the trunk. We're finally getting a bunch of them after all summer without any luck, although unfortunately the tiny, rounded beetles that love oysters as well as I do did not go on vacation to Hawaii and so they are having themselves a buffet without so much as a by-your-leave. I wish I'd gotten a few of them too while they were still fresh and tender but I don't begrudge them their fair share of toughened, shoe-leather stage fungi. Nature is a beautiful thing, a little something for everyone.

The boys and I are watching a little How It's Made today. A fun rainy day indulgence. There are certain things I feel sludgy about my boys wading into for mindless entertainment (video games....argh!!!!) but I don't feel so terribly bad about this show. For one thing I also enjoy it so its more of a group activity and we stop it all the time to clarify points, quickly google rabbit trail questions (unschooling!) and add our comments which keeps it from getting too mind numbing. Today's clever piece of knowledge from the most recent episode:

Mainstream peanut butter contains trans-fats...they're added to make it a nice creamy consistency and be sure no oil rises to the top of the jar. "Natural peanut butter" is just peanut butter without trans-fats dumped in....and sometimes without sugar or salt.

I had no idea!

In other news...Ru has learned how to wiggle his ears! We're still working on tying his own shoes, reading smoothly, blowing bubbles from bubble gum and whistling but really, why get humdrum about life skills?!? He can learn those things later....when all the other chumps who never did learn how to wiggle their ears properly are trying to make up time. He's slightly magical really. I've asked him to give me ear wiggling lessons but apparently its a very subtle and mysterious art. He has yet to figure out how to explain what in the world he does to make them flap. Truth is, apparently..... he's not really sure. He says, "I just move my ear bones!" Duh.

Little Pom is grabbing things these days which is such a pleasing stage, so self-satisfied. He gloms onto handfuls of my hair, wads of clothing, things I'm trying to eat, ear bud cords, receipts and whatever else comes between his two grabbers. I think he loves the new power. Nothing like the ability to start controlling your own destiny...even if it starts in small territories like The Things One Chews On.

Secretary In Training

I love me some little boy cuteness. Dee is"writing" on his own a lot lately and practicing holding pens behind his ear on the sly. Mommy doesn't say a word. I don't think he knows I saw.

3 Months of Cute

Welcome to a clean, new week folks. Its Monday. We have both feet on the ground. I am finally caught up on dishes, everyone's had baths but the baby and there's a pork roast waiting to go in the oven because it got all autumnal and cool overnight. So beautiful! We broke out the hoodies (Pom has the cutest one imaginable) and bought a turkey for practice feasting.

Pom is the sweetest baby ever...ever, ever in the history of babies. Nib was pretty easy going but I think Pom has even topped him. This is no brilliant success of me as genius mommy. I had one colicky screamer, and one overly attention hungry baby and then two easy ones in a row. Luck happens in every house. But this one, he's so sweet and social and sunny. He's very undemanding for the most part, he only really screams hard when he's hurting. He self soothes, he grins at strangers and will go to sleep anywhere.

He's just started giggling and he has the best, watery chuckle on the planet. So wet and ripply and addictive. I find myself alone with him on our bed at the end of pretty much every day trying to make him laugh, over and over...no matter how tired I am because it makes me so happy.

He rolled  front to back one time two nights ago and was very startled and put out to find himself face down in the blanket. He's always trying to do it again now, waving a chubby thigh in the direction which he intends. He has the chubbiest thighs. Incredibly cute.

He has also just started wrapping a tiny arm around my neck when I put him up to my shoulder to carry around while I set the table or lay out clothes for the day. So sweet to feel his little fist grasping, grasping, grasping at the curls on the nape of my neck.

My sister Doubleddog with Pom

Pom still smells of milk and sleeps half the day away and has no real hair. Am loving him and so pleased to have had him in my arms for three whole months. Am so incredibly smitten by this wee blue eyed person. Glad he chose me for his mommy.

Motherhood Support

Listening to my sister-in-law, Jane, tell me about the excruciating woes of Motherhood in Times of Colic a lot lately. I sure remember so vividly the raw hours of floor pacing I did with a screaming Dee in my arms when he was a babe. This motherhood gig (as my father-in-law often says) is serious business! Whew. I hear so much complaining about the modern communication devices but personally, when those I love are far away and hard times are afoot, am so glad for phones, for texting, for email and for Facebook.

I remember one night when my mother was visiting, sitting downstairs in the living room, waiting for me while I tried and tried and tried to put the toddler to sleep in his own bed. I was upstairs in a rocker outside his bedroom door with my phone and my mom was downstairs at the computer. I would put the toddler in his bed and tell him good night and then retire to my rocker to cry and curse alternately outside the door and message my mom on my phone. My mom would type, "You can do it! You're a great mommy!" and then I'd pick up the escaping toddler as he tried to escape and put him back in his bed again etc. I think I made it through that evening solely on the iron-clad  messages my phone carried from my mom downstairs. Its kind of cool to be supporting Jane now via my own boosting messages. What goes around comes around, even in a good way!

Its interesting having the chance to watch my mother-in-law do it too. Good moms, regardless of our differences with them or variations in taste are there for their children, even from far away, even when they grow up. Just because we're legal voters and can drive our own minivans doesn't mean that we don't need that encouraging pat on the back now and then and encouragement to keep on, even when it seems too hard.

Gives me a touch more patience (if I stop and think of it) with my four year old's meltdowns over trying desperately to put his own shoes on. Sometimes we all need to be talked down from the edge and told that we manage, even with the small things.