Your Plans Are As Unique As You

      Halloween was last night which means that today is the beginning of Christmas for me. I know it sounds overblown to some and like we are perhaps jumping the gun but this is the way that I can maintain sanity as a mama. If I give myself more time, I can enjoy my pumpkin spice lattes and the leaves turning color while I plan my gift lists and read to the kids from the holiday book basket. Its the best time ever to get my ducks in a row and even to get a little private celebrating in before we are traveling. One of the hardest things about traveling for the holidays is the feeling of no personal celebration, no ability to be the mama myself for the holidays.  We are all living our own individual lives and I know that part the secret to my own happiness is an earlier and earlier start on the holiday season. I use a Christmas planner and a couple of books in a haphazard fashion, I scroll Pinterest and I scribble lists on odd papers....and also, I fly by the seat of my pants. This is me after all.

None of those formulas for how many gifts to buy or when exactly you should begin making cookies and storing them in the freezer are exactly right for any exact year in my exact life. I do like the concept though....so I try to come up with my own personal targets and magpie into my plans those that do seem to align. The point is to enjoy and relish the bustle and prep, the weight of responsibility that comes with being a merriment creator and the freedom and mental space that can come from a little more time coupled with some plans and systems.

This week I am revamping our breakfast menus and schedules for some of the same goals: more space, simplicity, bustle, and responsible feeling motherhood. There are things to put in line and ways to trim our old meal ideas so that they fit our new schedule and the changing interests of the palates in our home. I wish we fit some vanilla template but none of these things work that way. We nature journal, but not like anybody tells you to. I just bought, leafed through and then sold a book on How To Teach Your Child Shakespeare because we were doing bits of it already, some things were useful additions and lots of it needed to be passed on because we have a plan, its just the one that we are creating ourselves at our kitchen table. Its an interesting evolution to see myself both becoming a planner and also recognizing that for our individual house, nobody can hand me the plan. Plans are dynamic and shifting, we outgrow them and get bored by them, and all of our households quirky oddments will never be in anybody else's list.

Here's the marching to the beat of our own drums...ah yes, but marching to a beat! Lets all plan our own plans and come up with systems by being the wise observers and sensitive curators of our own people and lives. There's no easy out, nobody can do the work of life for you. But, after all....Halloween was just last night, you have time and so do I.  

The Summer Isn't Over List

This is the one final push. There's about a month left of summer, that epic, open ended time full of carefree adventuring and outdoors fun. Because I am a lists girl and because I believe in seizing that day, I thought I'd listify the stuff I haven't ticked off yet this summer.

Lists help me let go of things I mean to remember, otherwise they keep popping up randomly in my mind and then I forget them and then two more pop up and are forgotten and I accomplish my goals haphazardly with a lot of niggling background stress about stuff I mean to do and things I forgot. So, here's what's rattling around in my brain at odd hours at the moment:

The....Summer Isn't Over List

1. Have a proper picnic. 
2. Go swimming at our local beach 5 more times. 
3.  Go peach picking.
4. Can tomato sauce.
5. Go horseback riding with Ru and maybe Dee. 
6.  Take a daytrip to Concord, MA.
7. Go fishing with the boys.
8.  Make popsicles.
9. Go hunting for chanterelles.
10.  Have a lawn breakfast party.
11. Finish the brick edging on our front walk.
12.  Drink more juices!
13. Catch a local baseball game with the boys. Bridgeport Bluefish, here we come! 
14. Bake a lemon meringue pie.
15. Take a surfing lesson.
16. Watch the sunset over the water. 
17. Paint my bedroom.
18.  Raise a monarch butterfly.
19. Go see the lighthouse in Manhattan.
20.  Visit the aquarium.

 What's still left on your list? Don't give up! Strategize!

Prep Week

This is the last week before we head off to the Pacific Northwest for some vacation, some work, some exploring, some reuniting with family and lots of memory making. The last week before travel always means lots to do but I also realize that minimalism has a spot in the world of packing and prepping. Laundry needs doing for instance but organizing all our clothes this week as I pack does not need to happen. Packing need to happen but we'll only be bringing a week of clothes. Washers exist. We should make sure that all out hotel reservations are made and written into the schedule but we don't need to freak out about making sure each day is planned to the lapels.  I need to get a couple of basic snacks planned and purchased and prepped for the flight but I don't need to worry about ordering groceries for when we return home yet...that can wait and happen some slow morning in Seattle. 

Trimming the list minimizes the overwhelm of liftoff but it also means there is a little more margin, a little bit of space, a tiny breathing corner. That space is open. It might be when we meet with friends for impromptu play sessions at the park, it might be when I write and paint extra and the boys soak in library books or it might just be time we spend at home not having anywhere to do and not having anything to do. Lolling in the garden, taking naps when we are overtired and fixing things here at home which need our attention all should be allowed to make the list if they clamor.

Been thinking lately about my own philosophy of pushing the edge, living deep and striving that holds hands with my anathema for stress and defeatist talk about being over-busy and living in a time drought. I think its crucial to stay alive, fed, directed, energized and inspired. I also think its important to reject the doctrine of negativity about living a full life. (the belief that we are behind before we even get up in the morning and that there are not enough hours in the day and that we don't have time for the things we wish we could do) I also think its really important to trim the fat in our lives and have boundaries. No, is a good word, we should be masters and mistresses of our own agendas and not live subject to manipulation or guilt in our To Do Lists, we also should learn to strict with ourselves about cutting out things we know we shouldn't be doing. Life is too rich and full to waste on things that are bland and soul killing. As Dr. Suess, The Wise said in one of his books,

"You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.

About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."

With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,

you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street."

So, I'm planning a trip and I'm whipping up the last few things to get done here before we go, and I may feel pushed but I refuse to live in that space, and if you feel like calling, ring me up.

Oregon hasn't seen nothin' yet!  

School Year Leap

I am typing furiously tonight. All is in flux. Its time for a new season! I have decided to scrap all the ideas I had for how everything normally goes and start over from ground zero in every way. Home schooling starts in earnest this year...we have a genuine first grader in the house. In order to maintain some level of sanity, make sure the laundry gets done and assure ourselves that said first grader learns to read his Dick and Jane we need new rules.

Henceforth, starting not this week but the next....if you try to call me in the morning you will go straight to voicemail. If you knock on the door and are not bleeding from an orifice I won't answer and if you are waiting for an email from me, rest assured it won't arrive before noon. I am blocking off all morning hours for housework, reading together and school lessons, such as they are. All our social engagements, museum ventures, errands and other jaunts will be shifted to afternoons. Life will become ironclad and organized.

 

Tell me its smart.

And clever.

And so soothingly arranged.

Will you? 

 

I'm pretty sure its the right thing to do and yet...its a big leap.

This involves letting go of my current art fellowship group and every single other thing we've been involved in.....besides our homeschool co-op. And no...we're not going to become one of THOSE families...I think social involvement for Mommy and kids is extremely key. It just means we're starting completely over. Everything I had in place is gone so we're on the hunt for all new, afternoon events. I'm feeling alternately optimistic and lost.

Thanksgiving Dreaming

A new stove is on it's way! We've picked one and ordered the shining beauty and it will bring it's magical goodness to the heart of our home on Saturday. I cannot wait to have a reliable cooking source again.

Image by Lane & Anne via Flickr

I have started mulling over what to make for Thanksgiving and am all salivatory over the possibilities. This year will be our virgin effort for local, "just us" and no-travel Thanksgiving celebration. I cannot wait to roast a turkey myself, to serve up a heap of fluffy mashed potatoes and to decide which rolls to make. How do you decide? I think I need more guests. There are not enough people in our house to eat all the things I want to make. There are the standards: turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, stuffing pumpkin pie and then the delectable sounding options for adding to the menu....maybe stuffed mushroom caps, a fantastic cheese plate and some sort of veggie dish. How to decide? Roasted cauliflower with curried spices? Caramelized brussels sprouts with toasted pecans? Steamed green beans tossed with olive oil and roasted garlic? *sigh*

Me helping with Armstrong Thanksgiving (photo credit to my sister-in-law Jane)

Bri-en-croute is a must, right? And some kind of sparkling juice so the kids can join in toasting...and then what about a fresh salad. That sounds imperative after all those heavy, warm foods. Greens with pomegranate, fresh pear, goat cheese, burrata, beet slices, persimmon...oh heavens! And maybe Oyster Rockefeller for a New England touch? How will I choose?

Megaman carves the bird of 2009 (photo credit to Jane again!)

 I cannot wait for that stove to get here. I need to do some serious elimination and recipe testing. And what bliss, to have a broiler for toasting things, a working temperature gauge and an oven timer that works, right on the top. I cannot wait!

Thankgiving Feast afterglow... (Jane again!)

I realize that you might think I'm a bit over the top, after all...it's not even November, I have three small children and I've never even made a Thanksgiving Day meal before. That list makes me sound bonkers but, truly, Rome was not won in a day, a girl with three kids has to plan ahead...well ahead. And I don't believe in defeatist thinking so who cares about the "never have's" and the fact that I am a young mother to several. I believe in full-on-insanity in terms of ambitious and adventuresome celebration, so bring on the turkey!

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In A Baby State of Mind

 The view from here lately. (fyi, have a pink shirt on...am not naked)

Am starting to feel a massing whirl of pressing baby To Do's whirling in my mind around the clock. I sat down yesterday and wrote a list of all the things I want to get done before the new one arrives and have started hacking into them.

The boys helped me haul and dump all the kid and baby clothes and supplies out of their closet and pile them on the floor in their room. Then we organized it all within an inch of its life. Two big bags of Goodwill supplies and several neatly labeled cubical boxes later, I feel a lot better. All the clothes are organized by size and tagged on all four sides to that effect.

The boys share a dresser and I was starting to wonder where in the world I was going to put the baby's things when it came to me in a dream. (Really!) I love it when my brain works overtime...all I had to do was consolidate the storybooks onto one bottom shelf and then do a little more shifting and two spare shelves would appear...then I saw in my mind the perfect arrangement of wicker baskets in rows.

Thankfully, Michael's had just what I had envisioned so it took one trip to the store and they were all plopped in a place. Huzzah! Feels great to be accomplishing. I have just started to fill one of the boxes with tiny socks and have a bin next to the bookcase all stocked with the baby blankets and the tiniest of the cloth diapers. I was surprised after putting my newborn clothes collection through two boys how small it had become. After a few rounds of diaper blowouts and spit-up stains its amazing how briskly things are culled right down. I'll need to go out and hunt up some more onesies for sure. One nice thing about a May baby is that I won't worry nearly so much about leggings and socks, and tiny shoes and sleepers...it will be warm so fast that all those things will just get in the way. Onesies may just do the job....and a few little pants to throw on for cool evenings. Sounds pretty idyllic.

I ordered myself a maternity bathing suit so that I have one pretty thing to wear for our trip to California next month and I made notes of all the supplies I would like to stock up on from birthing snacks to nursing tank tops and even found a cute nursing friendly bathing suit that might be worth investing in for the hot weather to come.

I am feeling less panicky and more on top of things, just getting a little bit done and getting all that stuff out of my head helps a lot. Did ever tell you all that I sleep with a blank note pad next to my pillow so that I can jot down the frantic lists whizzing through my brain and allow myself clean sleep? I'm just that tied up by my own worries. Its good to let go.

Am thinking tomorrow might be a good day to sit in the sunshine with the baby booties I started at Christmas and finish them up...another quick hit of accomplishment.

The Bookworm's Attack

Had a little drop-by visit from our cooking pal, Protege this morning for a cozy sort of catch-up and then a good dose of more sunshine, yard romping and eventually, lots of wonderful cooking such as blossoms from such inspiration.

While I was cooking and we were visiting, Protege started thumbing through my cookbook stacks and fingering pages and asking me about my favorite culinary tomes. I ticked off all my favorite, favorites on my fingers and then wandered off into, "But...I also really like...." And she laughed at my salivary tone and my endless list. Books are a hard topic to get me to limit and can be a bit of Rabbit-Trail-Central as one book or topic naturally leads in my mind to another and pretty soon I'm worming my way from my favorite books on bread-making to child psychology and then juvie lit classics. In short, I like to read. A lot.

I've had lots of people ask me how I read. And its a good question. Lots of people just aren't readers or they think of reading as vacation past-time or a thing they liked to do for fun when they were in their teens but, they can't imagine how it fits into adult life, let alone motherhood. Well, there are ways.

Some of what I've had to do in order to stay an avid reader is adaptive and some of it is pure luck and some is even modern technology...every little bit helps. But, I really think that if you want to be/stay/become a reader...you can...no matter how old you are or how busy you are.

Here's how it works for me:

When I become a wife and then really when I became a mom I became a fragmented reader. This sounds like a bad thing but for me its a matter of survival as a book lover. I read several books at once and I read small snatches here and there. The old days of sitting numbly with a book, turning page after page until the words swim and your eyes sting are pretty much gone for me at the moment. (Much as I did love those days!)

Lately, I have a book stationed pretty much anywhere around the house where I might find myself with a few minutes to kill: at my bedside, next to the rocking chair in the boys room, on the kitchen counter, in the car, next to the living armchair, and even occasionally (don't tell!) in the bathroom. I read whatever book is handy wherever I am when I have a moment or two. Sometimes I only get through a page but, its progress! And with so many books on the boil I am always close to finishing and just starting something which makes me feel ever progressive.

Common times in my day-to-day life when I find I can work in a snatch of reading include:

• Nap times...the part where I am waiting for the boys to actually go to sleep (at the moment I sit in the room with them because they will actually go to sleep if I sit there and supervise and verbally remind them to lay down and not talk and close eyes...etc.). It helps them go to sleep more quickly if I am not available for chatting but, just "there" enough to make sure they know they are supervised, a book is my technique for creating this distance. 

• I read during little moments of downtime in the kitchen...waiting for the 2 more minutes I put on the timer because the bread wasn't quite done, while the spinach wilts in a pan, while I wait for the potato water to boil, while the oil heats for sauteing, etc. etc...there are no end of mini-waiting moments in the kitchen. (Just as an aside, often the reading that happens during little kitchen breaks is storybook reading because the boys are often eagerly underfoot hoping for a little attention....and that's good reading too but, sometimes they're happily flipping through a book alone or busy in the living room with blocks and then I'm flipping pages on my own.)

• I often read while A gets ready for bed. I am a simple wash and wear kind of girl...brush my teeth and braid my hair (and often I get my tooth-brushing down while A is putting the boys to bed) so then its just throwing on my pajamas and braiding my hair while A has to take his contacts out, brush, floss, wash his face, apply lip balm, rub in his special hand lotion...etc. etc. So, I huddle under the covers and read, read, read while I wait for him. Sometimes this reading is done out loud because we're reading something together (which means I read it aloud to both of us with occasional pauses for discussion). 

• Nursing. Nursing is reading gold. I am not currently nursing anybody so this reading window is gone from my life at the moment but, it'll be back in just a couple months and boy do I look forward to snuggling/nursing/book time. I always have had a pretty easy time nursing (remember what I said about an element of luck?) and so, I am hands free or at least one hand free while the baby tanks up so, I read! I find that I am less impatient with the baby eating at his/her leisure and taking their sweet time if I have some wonderful book in my hands. I get a lot more reading done when I have a tiny new one at my house (as antithetical as that sounds).

• Various forms of car down-time are good reading time for me...the boys are napping, we're driving through Ohio on a roadtrip and A is on the phone with his brother....so, I read. Another common variation is while I'm waiting for an oil change to be completed or while we're sitting in the mechanic's office for repairs. A and I always read together whenever we're on a road-trip too...we pick out a book we'd both like to tackle and I read aloud while he drives...not straight, there's time for conversation or music listening or just looking out the window too but, it helps us stay awake during the drowsy afternoon hours or when we're pushing an after dark deadline and trying to make sure we don't fall asleep.

• I read while I'm on hold on the phone, when I'm in the doctor's waiting room, while the boys play at the park and when we're waiting for A at the train station....in short...I read a lot but, in snatches. I'm just a total opportunist...I grab my snatches whenever and wherever I can. 

One more small bit that falls into the "just lucky" category is that I'm a very fast reader. It helps me whip through books in 2-10 minutes snatches when I can buzz off a few pages in no time flat. I'm not sure how I learned to read quickly but, I can tell you its random chance as far I know...I've never taken a speed reading course, I didn't work to improve my words-per-minute-count and I've never had any kind of instruction in the craft. It just kind of happened to me.

That fact aside, I really do think that anyone can work reading into their life. All of us have these little moments and if reading isn't as important to you as it is to me perhaps you might wish to only devote one small window of your day to reading, say just when you're putting your kids down for a nap...even that little bit will eventually be the way to chisel your way through more words, stories, knowledge and adventure than you're consuming now. More is always more!

So, that's the long and short of how I make it work. I also enjoy other things in those little windows of downtime occasionally (music, radio, internet and phone calls) and once in a while we go on vacation and I spend solidly, leisurely afternoons reading on the couch in the sunshine while the boys sleep. But, the real day-to-day how of my reading is above, its not about excessive or tricks of the eye, its just bite-sized bits wherever I can catch them.

Other little reading bits I love:

GoodReads...you can see the list of my latest conquests I've recorded on this site in the sidebar column on the left and click on over if you're curious enough to read my reviews. I use this site to keep track of what I've read, when I read it and what I thought of the material. *grateful nod to Jane here for her leading me to the site*

Amazon....Ah Amazon, Amazon...where would book lovers like me be without you! I use Amazon all the time. I look up books, authors or topics I'm hearing about or otherwise interested in and avidly read the gobs of reviews the site provides to vet my potential reading list additions. My reading wishlist is full of the things I'm hoping to read or buy soon. Feel free to take a gander if you're curious. (Be warned, its crazy long!)

Alibris is a great place to go for those obscure books that are out-of-print and hard to find today...the kind of stuff your Grandma had that you always wished you had a copy of yourself. Very handy for people who like old stuff. (ahem)

Bookmooch is a great site where you can swap books you have that you don't want for books other people have that they don't want....everyone posts their wishlists and the system lets you know if somebody has one of your wishes available for claiming...all you're out is shipping. Pretty cool.

And one of my favorite online reader tools is my local library's website...I can check my due dates, renew online, browse the catalog (with my Amazon list in the next tab for handy reference) and my most favorite of all...I can request books they don't have through inter-library loan. I was a grown-up before I learned about inter-library loans and it rocked my world. Basically, the idea is that any book your local library doesn't have they'll search through the library network in your whole state and see if somebody else has it (the answer is almost always by the time you search that many databases) and then they'll put in a request at that library to have it sent to your local branch for you to pick up and take home. So lovely of them!

And that folks...is how I read. May you do the same.